Everything I'm supposed to hate • Harry J. Potter •

22

"H-Harry potter...I'm sorry..."

Theo stiffened and jerked his knee from your grasp. You fell backward onto the cold floor of his dorm.

"You need to leave."

"Theo, I'm so sorry I never meant to hurt you I--"

"Well you fucking did, didn't you?" Came Theo's sharp reply.

It hurt like a knife in your chest, but you knew you deserved it. You deserved so much worse.

"I'll just... I'll just grab my stuff and go," you said quietly, scrambling off the floor.

"No," Theo snapped. "Leave now. Maybe that nightgown will show everybody just how much of a whore you are."

You fought the urge to let a few more tears slip out and bit your cheek. "If that's what you want."

Theo glared at you with such an intense look of hatred you stumbled back toward the door a bit.

"What I wanted was a girlfriend who didn't want to fuck Harry fucking Potter the whole time she was with me, but I guess we all can't have everything, right Y/n?"

You didn't know what to say so you just stared down at the floor.

"Get the fuck out!" Theo roared

You turned and fled, running down the stairs that led back up to the boys' dormitory, through the unfortunately crowded common room, and out the portrait hole before anybody could stop you.

Your bare feet slapped against the stone floor as you ran blindly through the castle. It was well after curfew but you didn't care. You felt like you were suffocating. All of your pain and self hatred was piling on top of your chest and the weight was getting to be too much to bear.

Finally, the weight pulled you to the ground. You stumbled to your knees and managed to crawl toward the wall a foot away. Leaning against the cold stone, you brought your knees to your chest and buried your face in your arms.

Heaving sobs racked your body as you finally let out all of your pent up emotion. You were angry and confused and hurt and disgusted. How could you have ever let it get this bad? Why didn't you stop it? But what was "it" anyway? Your blatant manipulation of Theo? The lies you'd been telling yourself for months? Your feelings for Harry you'd tried to desperately to bury? Maybe it was all of them or maybe it was none of them. You didn't know. All you knew was--

"Are you--are you alright?"

Your head snapped up, all thoughts vanishing. You knew that voice. You'd heard it shouting insults at you hundreds of times. Even now, with an unfamiliar, almost kind, tone, you recognized it.