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Mae Evans had not put in any effort to flutter an eyelid when Sarah had dropped her back home early this morning. Even the sun hasn't woken up and yet, Mae is perched on her bed with her eyes wide open. She tries to keep her mind off of the burning sensation from them. It was obvious that her eyes will sting for the next few hours, considering how much Mae had been continuously crying (she still is, although it isn't as bad as before she saw her dad).
Besides, it's not like she hasn't experienced any sort of burning sensation before. Her joints feel like they are eternally set aflame, after all. The pain will never leave her alone, but she has to live with it-- it is what she taught herself to believe years ago. Her hot skin, her racing mind and her moist eyes. These are all things she was forced to get used. It's her 'normal'.
With her thumb between her teeth as her mind swirls in deep contemplation, Mae tries to recall the last time she'd cried this much. It must have been long ago... In all honesty, Mae has never had reason to cry her entire heart out, even though she can think of countless reasons for her to feel depressed. But this sunflower of a girl has endured the pain her whole life that now, it's just a lifestyle. Even if it's deadly, the disease is a part of her. People might laugh at her attempts of being optimistic in such a situation-- but Mae couldn't care less. Searching for the good, even in the worst situations, is all that she knew, and Mae doesn't want to ever let go of that. No matter how hopeless the circumstances pose to be-- Mae wants nothing to let her down more than her life already has.
However, this moment feels like an exception. She remembers the father from the hospital-- the life that has always been visible on his face has suddenly vanished. The horrific vision of him on the hospital bed with anxiety etched on his unconscious face -- Mae feels her heart sink into a bottomless pit.
But nothing hurt Mae more than the mental agony of being left out-- feeling left out in her own family, in her home. She feels like a shadow, watching over as the rest of Evans' live their lives' legacies wholeheartedly. Mae wants to experience that too. She wants to be a scientist who invents revolutionary creations like her father, or like Sarah and Maya-- a woman trained to be independent and strong, someone who isn't helpless, someone who saves other people, someone who can be called 'hero'.
