Ariana: The Hobbit

That's What Bilbo Baggins Hates

Ariana's POV

"Oh, no! No, no. There's nobody home!" Bilbo shouts exasperated. "Go away, and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead's idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste" he states as he opens the door. A bunch of dwarves fall through it onto the floor, behind them Gandalf pokes his head through the door.

"Good evening Gandalf" I say. "Please come in" I tell him and help the dwarves to their feet. "I am Ariana Baggins, the others are in the hall. Help yourselves" I state and Bilbo looks at me horrified. As the dwarves and Gandalf leave us.

"Are you out of your mind?" Bilbo asks me quietly.

"They maybe uninvited, but they are guests" I remind him. "Now I am going to go see if they need help with anything. Do what you want" I tell him and head to the hall.

"Ah lass, can you prepare a plate and set it aside with a goblet of ale?" Dwalin asks me.

"Of course, are we expecting another?" I ask him curious.

"Yes, just one more" he states. I nod and prepare a plate. Along with a goblet of ale. I put them somewhere safe and join the others in the hall. I see Gandalf talking to one of the dwarves.

"Yes, you are quite right, Bifur. We appear to be one dwarf short" Gandalf states.

"He is late, is all. He traveled north to a meeting of our kin, he will come" Dwalin assures him.

"I did as you asked Master Dwalin, is there anything else you or the others need?" I ask politely.

"No lass, sit down and ate" he tells me. I sit beside Balin. Who hands me the salad bowl and I give him a grateful smile. I serve myself and pass it on.

"Miss Baggins, would you like something to drink?" a dwarf with a funny hat asks me.

"Tea would be lovely, thank you..." I say trailing off.

"Dori" he says and leaves. He soon returns and hands me a cup of tea. I thank him again as Fili files the dwarves goblets with ale. Once they all had one they scold them and burp.

"Honestly you lot, there is a woman present" Balin reminds them.

"Sorry Lassie" they say.

"It's fine, I want you all to enjoy yourselves. I should get a start on the dishes though" I get up to do so.

"No need lass, Bifur is already doing it" Dwalin tells me.

"Still he should not do it all alone" I state and take my plate to the sink. I hand it to Bifur. "Thank you for doing the dishes. You wash and I dry" I suggest. He nods his head and we get to work.

Suddenly Bifur lifts his arm and catches a flying plate. I look behind us to see another flying our way. He catches it with his other hand and puts them both in the sink. Starting to clean them. "Please be careful, some of those dishes are over a hundred years old!" I tell the dwarves as they start to stomp their feet and cling their knives & forks together.

"And...and, ca...can you not do that, you'll blunt them!" Bilbo exclaims.

"Ooh, d'you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives" one of the dwarves sasses as they continue to do so. I shake my head and get back to drying the dishes.

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks" Kili starts to sing.

"Smash the bottles and burn the corks" Fili sings.

"Chip the glasses and crack the plates. That's what Bilbo Baggins hates! Cut the cloth and tread on the fat. Leave the bones on the bedroom-mat, pour the milk on the pantry-floor, splash the wine on every door, dump the crocks in a boiling bowl, pound them up with a thumping pole. When you've finished, if any are whole, send them down the hall to roll" the dwarves sing.

I hear Gandalf laugh and chuckle to myself. As I continue to dry the dishes as Bifur washes them. I hear someone playing a flute. "That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" they finish. We finish the dishes and have them all stacked on the table when Bilbo appears. He looks at us all shocked.

Suddenly there's a knock at the door, that must be the final dwarf. "He's here" Gandalf says and goes to answer the door.

"Allow me Gandalf, you're a guest" I say and head for the door. I open it to see a middle aged dwarf with dark hair looking up at the moon.

"Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice" he states before turning around.

"Not Gandalf, I am Ariana Baggins. Please come in, I have a plate prepared for you. Along with a goblet of ale" I tell him.

"Thorin Oakenshield" he states as he enters the house. I lead him to the table and he sits down. I hand him his plate of food and ale. "Thanks" he says as I go stand by my brother.

A/N

Gif above of the dwarf pile and video about of the song.

Titles of the next six chapters:

Thorin Oakenshield and Contract

Joining the Company

Three Mountain Trolls

Escaping Orc Pack

Rivendell and Heritage

Goblin Town