"Give your daughters difficult names. Give your daughters names that command the full use of tongue. My name makes you want to tell me the truth. My name doesn't allow me to trust anyone that cannot pronounce it right."
I was sitting in my chambers, locked and alone. No one of maids or aghas were allowed to be in my chambers, only if they had to give me my food.
I was sitting in my chambers sadly. I couldn’t express with words how I have felt alone at this moment.
My nephew was punishing me because I wanted to be happy. He punished me because I wanted to be loved. Because for the first time in my life I have felt emotions towards somebody, and I can't be happy because he and his mother don't find that man suitable.
But of course, how could my nephew even know about how I feel? He was born as a Prince and now he is a Sultan. He has his own harem where he can sleep with any girl he wants.
How could Handan and my Valide Safiye know how I feel? They came to Palace as slaves into Sultan's harem. There was no other man who they could even see, only Sultan. They had to be his, or no one's.
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I was all alone in this. No one cared how I felt. No one of them knew how it is to be born as Sultana, and to never be true happy. We, Sultanas from birth, never had opportunity to be with man we want. We always had to listen to our mothers and other people who would marry us to someone they find suitable or have some political alliance because of that.
We are objects they use to make good for themselves and to have profit from us. No one asks us how we feel about that all.
I just looked at the sky from my terrace hoping that God would help me.
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I hoped God would help me to finally become happy. As a Sultana, I always had whatever I wanted. Whatever I wished I could get, except happiness. I didn't know what true happiness was.
Today was the day when I had to meet with Şahin. He should have told me Derviş' secret, and he said he has something for me that I would like to see.
But I couldn't, because I was locked in my chambers. I was locked until the day of mine and Mehmed's marriage.
At that moment, I heard footsteps of someone walking to my terrace. I didn't have a lot of hope, because I knew Ahmed wouldn't forgive me so easily.
- Sultana, I came for you. - Reyhan-aga said to me as he sat on the doors of my terrace.
- Haven't you heard I'm locked and I can't go anywhere? - I said to him sarcastically. I thought this was some kind of joke, because I knew Ahmed wouldn't let me go away now.
- Sultana, Şahin Giray heard for this. He sent me. He wants to meet with you. - Reyhan said to me.
- And how do you plan that I leave harem so no one could see me? They will see me and I will get punished right now. - I said to him as I knew his idea had no sense.
- Sultana, just trust me. We will go through secret way. No one will be able to see you. I promise. - Reyhan said to me.
I decided to listen to him as I had nothing to lose. Even if they found me was better than marrying a man my sister loves and staying locked in my chambers.
I dressed up in the most beautiful dress I found and putted the best jewerly I had. If I have to die and be punished now, at least let me die elegantly, like it is meant for Sultana.
Reyhan took me to go with him through secret way in Palace. I never saw this hallway in my life and I couldn't believe how I never knew for this.
He took me outside of the Palace and went with me in carriage. Carriage took us to the shore of Bosphorus where one house was standing alone.
- Sultana, Hanzade Şahin Giray is waiting for you there. - Reyhan said to me as he didn't leave the carriage. At this moment, I was really afraid if I should trust Reyhan.
I was afraid what if my Valide, Handan or Sultan Ahmed are in that house. I would be punished and it would be done with my life.
But I said to myself, I have nothing to lose. I decided that I will do that and I walked to that house.
I opened the doors and Şahin awaited for me with a smile on his face. He was standing on the stairs and bowed to me.
- Sultana, you look beautiful like never before. - he said as he walked down and kissed my hand gently. I blushed at his words every time because he made me feel special like no one before him could do.
- I am glad you arrived safely, when Fahriye Sultana informed me what happened, I knew I have to save you somehow. - Şahin said and came closer to me.
- I am thankful to you, because after this, there is no way I can return to the Palace. - I said to him sadly.
- Will you go with me upstairs? - Şahin asked me and when I nodded him, he took my hand and we went upstairs.
He looked at me for few seconds, before came closer to me. He looked so happy while he is close to me, and I felt the same way.
He took something from wardrobe that was standing behind me, and came to me. He had red veil in his hands.
- Sultana, would you still like to marry me? - Şahin asked me before he would put veil on my face. I felt like I could shake from happines.
- I never changed my opinion, I want. - I said to him with a big smile on my face.
He came closer to me, and putted the veil on my head. He took my hand and took me to balcony in the house. From there, we saw our wedding ceremony.
" From now on, Ismihan Sultana, daughter of Sultan Murad Khan, is legally married to Crimean Prince Şahin Giray." I could hear words as Şahin took my hand gently.
He just removed my veil, and kissed me softly on my lips. I never felt what I felt at that moment. I never felt loved as I felt in that moment. From today, I was legal wife of Şahin Giray.
