Wolfstar Oneshots

The Story of Blackinnon

Sirius' thoughts were as clear as the sky on a stormy night. She'd said yes. He wanted her to say yes. He was meant to like her. No, he did like her. Gracelessly, Sirius collapsed onto his bed, rubbing his temples in frustration. He tried to believe this was what he wanted, but a voice in the back of his head said different. But, why? This was what he'd expected, but did that make it right?

Noticing footsteps in the corridor, Sirius sat bolt upright and plastered a smile on his face. He needed this to look believable. Well, of course it was believable; it was real. Excited, James entered the room, giving Sirius a look that clearly said, 'sooo, what happened?'.

You know those moments when someone can't stop smiling no matter how hard they try, for Sirius, this was not one of them. However, you don't go to 15 years of Black family dinners without learning to fake a smile. "She said yes!"

"That's great! I'm really pleased for you. Moony and Pete will be too!" and then under his breath, "wish Lily would say yes to me."

"Yeah! Really cool." 'I mean that, I definitely mean that.' he thought.

Not long after, the others came into the dorm and James told them the good news. Peter looked happy, but Sirius swore Remus looked disappointed. Did he like Marlene? Sirius doubted it, but there was clearly sadness in Remus' eyes.

Dinner was rather uneventful, except from a few whispers and the odd death stare Marlene got from jealous girls. Sirius and Remus normally sat next to each other, but today Marlene took the place next to him. Something about that made Sirius angry and he thought about saying something. Then he realised that would be stupid, he and Marlene should sit together if they were dating.

Later everyone was in the common room, and Marlene was curled up on Sirius' lap.

"I think you too are so sweet together" Lily smiled, looking at the two of them
"I'm honestly jealous," Mary chimed in.

"Me too Lily" Marlene responded looking up at Sirius. Unsure of how to respond, Sirius just chuckled and squeezed Marlene's hand. 'This is nice, this feels good' he thought. Peter and James also made some offhand comments about how nice it was they were together and so on, but Remus just nodded curtly, and returned his gaze to the floor.

Remus was having a hard time, keeping back the tears. He knew Sirius was happy, and he wasn't exactly surprised, but it still hurt. The room was starting to feel hot and stuffy, and he could feel his eyes watering at the sight of the couple. Hoping to get some time alone, he excused himself. Once inside he shut the door and leaned against it, sinking to the floor. He let his emotions run as sobs racked his body. This wasn't fair. Why couldn't he just be normal like everyone else? Find a girlfriend and be happy? But he knew that could never happen; he was a miserable gay werewolf - about as far from normal as you can get.

Remus cursed himself for feeling upset about this, it was nothing to do with him and yet he couldn't stop the tears from flowing. It felt so wrong watching the two tangled together on the sofa, like his insides were being twisted together. He knew it was selfish but he wished, just wished it could be him there instead. Eyes blurry and red, he looked around the dorm they had shared for nearly 6 years, his gaze falling onto the photos littered around. He smiled in spite of himself at the memories depicted. Then a new wave of sadness crashed over him as he realised soon Sirius would only want to make new memories with Marlene.

'Merlin,' he thought, 'I'm pathetic. Crying even though I know he'll never love me'. So, he picked himself up, wiped the tears from his eyes and told himself to get over it, though he knew it wouldn't be that easy. Still unable to face going down stairs, he picked up the book on his bedside table, which unfortunately happened to be his history revision, and started reading.