My brother's roommate - ENG

9.

"You have to be the best" "You can't eat that, you'll get fat" "I don't have failed children" "Second place is the first loser, I didn't raise losers" "Feelings make you weak, you should only focus on winning" "If you lose this race don't bother coming home"."

Those phrases echoed in Maya's head over and over again preventing her from sleeping. She was tossing and turning like crazy in bed, trying to push all those thoughts away, but it was impossible. Desperate to quiet the voices in her head, she decided it was better to get up and do something to distract her for a moment, as sleep had become an impossible task.

She quietly left the room to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water but was startled to notice a lump in the corner of the sofa in the darkness.

- Oh, shit! You scared me, what are you doing here? she shouted when she noticed the lump moving.

- Sorry I didn't mean to scare you; I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to disturb Andrew. Carina replied softly, as she turned her head slightly so she could see Maya. – What about you? What are you doing up so late at night, are you okay?

- Yes, yes everything is fine. I just came in for a glass of water. Said Maya, hoping Carina couldn't tell by her expression that she was lying.

- Ok. Said Carina, letting silence settle in the room.

Maya didn't want to make Carina uncomfortable so she thought about going back to her room and trying to sleep, but she was sure she wouldn't succeed, it would only bring back those horrible memories. So, she decided to swallow her pride and talk to Carina.

- What are you drinking? Maya asked in her attempt to break the silence, pointing to the cup Carina was holding in her hands.

- Hot chocolate, it helps me at times like this when I can't sleep. Carina replied.

- Do you mind if I ask you why? Said Maya coming over to settle down on the free corner of the sofa.

- Why what? Said Carina.

- Why can't you sleep? Maya asked shyly.

- Ah, it's no big deal. Said Carina trying not to make a big deal out of it.

- Well if it's keeping you awake I think it's important. Added Maya.

- It's just.... tomorrow is my first day at the new dance academy and it makes me a little anxious. Carina blurted out.

- Yes, new things can be a little scary. Said Maya empathizing with the Italian.

- Have you ever felt that pressure that you must always be the best, do everything perfect? That failing is not an option? Carina blurted out after a few seconds of silence.

Maya nodded slightly, she knew that feeling perfectly well.

- Well, that's how I feel. What if I'm not as good as I thought? What if I ruin everything? What if I don't fit in this new academy? It's a new city, new friends, new teachers, maybe I was wrong, I should have stayed in Italy where everything was known and my career was secure. Carina started to ramble.

- Hey! interrupted Maya approaching Carina, taking her hand in hers as a show of support. – You got here for a reason, if they accepted you into that prestigious academy it's because you have talent, because they saw something special in you. So don't let your fears stop you now. Maya said sincerely. – Besides, I'm sure everything will be perfect. Tomorrow you'll go up there, you'll walk in with that huge charming smile on your face, you'll show how talented you are and at the end of the day everyone will be thrilled with you. She added, causing Carina to let out a shy giggle.

- Thank you. Carina said shyly. – I really needed to hear that.

- I'm here to help. Said Maya happy to see Carina calmer.

- Okay, too much about me. Are you sure everything is okay? You didn't look so good when you left your room. Carina asked.

- Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine, just a stupid nightmare. Maya answered quickly, trying to avoid the subject.

- It's fine, but if you need to talk about anything I'm here to listen. Carina added with a huge smile. – Do you want some? she asked after a few seconds of silence, pointing to her mug. – Nothing better than hot chocolate to forget a nightmare.

- I don't think chocolate is the best thing for my diet. Maya answered, remembering her father's words "You can't eat that, you'll get fat" "You have to watch what you eat Maya" "Real athletes don't put that crap in their bodies".

- Come on! I promise you won't regret it. Said Carina interrupting her thoughts.

- Ok, ok. Maya couldn't help but agree when she saw Carina's pleading eyes.

- Do you want to watch a movie? Maybe that will help distract you a little and help you sleep. Maya asked as Carina prepared her drink.

- Ok. Carina replied from the kitchen.

Maya put the movie on and returned to her spot on the couch, while Carina curled up on the other end of the couch, letting her legs brush lightly against the blonde's. An act that caused both of them to shiver as they felt the contact between them. A few minutes passed and Maya noticed that Carina was sound asleep. The position she was in didn't look cozy at all, Maya thought about taking her to her bed, since tomorrow she would have an important day and sleeping in that position wasn't the best, but she didn't want to wake up Andrew who was asleep in the extra bed they had placed in the room. So, she decided that the best option was to let Carina sleep in her bed and she would sleep on the couch. Without making much noise she got up and gently carried Carina, trying not to wake her up she carried her to her room and laid her down on her bed. She noticed how Carina stretched slightly and got more comfortable on the bed, just as she was about to leave, she felt a hand clinging to hers. She quickly turned her gaze and met Carina's eyes.

- Can you stay? Carina whispered, with pleading eyes that Maya couldn't say no to. – Please, just a little longer.

Maya simply nodded and settled on the free side of the bed, turning her back to Carina and trying to forget the fact that she was sharing the bed with Carina Deluca, the woman who had lately become the owner of her thoughts. Suddenly she felt an arm around her waist and the warmth of Carina's body getting closer and closer to her, causing shivers all over her body.

- Good night. Carina whispered in her ear.

- Good night. Maya replied, feeling all the horrible thoughts that previously kept her from sleeping fade away.

That night Carina slept grateful to Maya for supporting her and helping to calm her anxiety. Not knowing that Maya felt the same way about her, because thanks to Carina she had been able to silence the voices that echoed in her head over and over again, tormenting her and preventing her from consolidating sleep.