Cursed Oneshots

CLEANSE THEM ALL (overhaul x mr clean)

(Also posted in my x reader one shot book because I had nowhere else to place this at the time) 

Kai Chisaki despised Mr Clean, and yet he didn't even know the bald man's first name. All Chisaki knew was that this cocky bastard called himself Clean and claimed to be the cleanest man in all the land. But this germ-free bird ho had something different to say. Germ-free bird ho was the only truly clean person, and this bitch ass baldy had to hear it! So Overhaul set out on an internet stalking adventure, through which he discovered Mr Clean's full name was Veritably Clean, and his favorite food was soba, but instead of soba it was just a bowl of soap. Not soup, soap.

The more he looked into Veritably Clean's past, the more jumbled Chisaki's feelings towards the man became. As he scrolled through photo after photo on Mr Clean's Instagram, Chisaki noticed how attractive and muscular Mr Clean was. I wonder if he'd let me call him Veritably- no! Get your head in the game, Chisaki! He may be hot but you can't let yourself entertain such ideals! You're only doing this to bring about his downfall; you hate Mr Clean!

But try as he might, Chisaki couldn't fully convince himself. He finally just decided to slide into Veritably Clean's dm's and ask him out.

And what do you know, Mr Clean responded! Here's the transcript of their messages, if you were wondering.

@ A_cleanbird : hey, I know you don't know me but I was wondering if we could get together sometime and discuss hygiene and cleaning?

@ The-OG-Veritably-Clean : anytime babey ;) couldn't help but notice the mask in your profile pic, I greatly admire your dedication to preventing your exposure to germs and disease

@ A_cleanbird : thanks! What do you say to the fancy place downtown, say 7 tonight?

@ The-OG-Veritably-Clean : I'd say hell yeah. But you might be taking that mask off at the end of the night ;)

@ A_cleanbird : ...I'd have to remove my mask anyway in order to eat.

@ The-OG-Veritably-Clean : Sure, but you'd also have to take it off if you wanna kiss me~

Flustered, Chisaki sent the location of the restaurant where they would be meeting and tried to calm himself down. After all, it wasn't so long ago that he despised Veritably Clean. So why is it that he now feels such an attraction to the buff bald man?

Chisaki pulled out his finest clothes for the date, making sure he looked perfect. When prompted, Chrono said that Chisaki had "Some mad drip" and "had better go get some hygienic ass."

This didn't help Chisaki stay calm. He was terrified as he sat at the table, waiting for Mr Clean to show up. And when he did show, it sent Chisaki's heart racing. Though dressed in his normal outfit with that modest white t-shirt, he looked like a model to Chisaki. A model of impeccable hygiene. Boldly, Mr Clean slid into the booth next to Chisaki as opposed to across from him.

"So you must be Kai Chisaki~" he said, his deep voice sending shivers down Chisaki's spine.

"I, uh- yes. And you're-"

"Veritably Clean." He leaned down to whisper in Chisaki's ear, "but you can just call me daddy~"

((Okay, do we or do we not want a part two?))