Cursed Oneshots

Shoto Todoroki x Lightning McQueen x Katsuki Bakugou///kachow me, kacchan

Credits to ToastyBaconBits for helping with this concept. And yes, Shoto and Kacchan are aged up in this for...obvious reasons.

"this just in, news of pro hero Shoto having weird relationships with racecars he doesn't even own."  

"KachOWW!~" Lightning cried out, still trying to get used to being loved by two boys at once.

"SAY IT LOUDER!" Bakugou yelled at him.

"K-kAChOOWW, DADDY!~"

"Hmm," Shoto hmm'ed quietly, enjoying this very much.

You might be wondering, Corey, how does sex with two boys and a race car even work?!?!

And the answer to that is, of course, that this is one of those AU's where Lightning McQueen can turn into a human. Y'know, like that whole thing with Bill Cipher? 

.....anyway, anthropomorphized Disney characters aside, the three were having fun, sexy times when suddenly...

"Lightning, what're ya doing?" came a deeply accented voice.

"Mater, I can- oh~" Lightning couldn't even finish his sentence before Shoto started slamming into him.

Mater ran out of the bedroom, his human eyes overflowing with heartbroken tears. To think, he'd been on his way to confess his love for Lightning! Oh, how things had changed...how could Lightning do this? Did he ever think of Mater? No, of course not. Lightning was thinking...well, Mater wasn't sure exactly, but not anything good!

Once the three of them finished what they were doing, Lightning left the bedroom in his red race car-printed robe (yes, a very appropriate choice) and searched for his forlorn friend. He found Mater in the kitchen eating away his feelings. "Mater..."

"You couldn't have told me you were in a relationship? That you had not one, but two secret boyfriends?" What with the severely southern accent, mouthful of food, and the fact that he was still crying, Mater was very hard to understand. But Lightning knew Mater so well, he could always understand him. They were just so connected. And the truth was, Lightning was in love with Mater, too, he just didn't understand how to deal with it. So naturally, the most logical course of action was to enter a polyamorous relationship with two pro heroes.

"I don't know, Mater, I figured you'd be pissed! Like you are right now..."

"Well, yeah! You kept secrets from me! I just..I wish you cared about me."

"But Mater, I do care-"

"Not the way I do, Lightnin'! No, not the way I do..."

"What does that even mean?!"

"IT MEANS I LOVE YOU, DUMMY!"

"WHAT THE DUCK MATER, I LOVE YOU TOOOOO <3 <3 <3!!!!!!!"

They kissed passionately for several minutes, Mater throwing Lightning onto the table and crawling on top of him, when Shoto and Bakugou stood in the doorway, horrified that their boyfriend would cheat on them with such a country bumpkin.

"Well. So much for that, then," said Shoto coolly. "I suppose now it's just the two of us.."

"Nah, I've got Deku tied up in the closet right now, we've got him."

"....Why is Midoriya tied up in the closet."

"For situations just like this one! Obviously!"

Shoto was still really confused, but went along with it since he'd secretly had an intense crush on Deku for quite some time. 

Mater and Lightning continued to make love on the kitchen table of Shoto's apartment. Later that day, Shoto bought a new table with his father's credit card.