Look Back at Me (Fleckney Fields Series, Book 1)

With and Without

That day she had supper with Yola in the Oak and Shield. It was an odd one. Yola was both distracted, and uncharacteristically subdued. She asked Viola how she was but hardly listened to Viola's answer. To think of it, it was perhaps the first time in the fourteen years of their friendship when Viola would almost welcome Yolada's usual intrusive questions and saucy comments. The more she thought back on the day she'd spent in Rhys' bed, figuratively speaking - the more astonishing she found her mental state at the time. Being intimate with Rhys had surprised her! She'd had so little of her usual anxiety, she hadn't monitored or analysed how it had felt and what they'd done. It hadn't been like that with any other man - or with this man ten plus years ago! Sex with Rhys now had been magnificent - raw, and real, and intense, and intoxicating! 

Viola and Yolanda ate and chatted a bit about Yolanda's plans for the Old Fire Station, and then the latter excused herself, thanked Viola for the offer to cover her half of the bill, and left. Viola walked back to the surgery, slowly, lost in some sort of vague melancholy thoughts, her hands pushed into the pockets of her coat, her right hand wrapped around her mobile. It didn't ring, and no notifications came. It would still be weeks before the first signs of Spring, but something seemed to have changed in the air.

In the flat, Viola pulled the phone out of her pocket and put it away - and then again, and again - and then she told herself to stop behaving like a loved up teen and dialled Rhys' number. Her call was sent into the voicemail, and she left him a friendly message and wished him goodnight.

On Friday, Fenton was away from the surgery. He was visiting his elderly Aunt over the weekend. Snezha finished work early on Fridays, she had to take her Mother for physiotherapy to Abernathy General.

When Viola woke up, she saw a text from Rhys who was telling her he was working out of town, and would be back Saturday evening. He was asking whether she'd like to grab dinner together, and she texted back that she most definitely would. He didn't answer, she assumed he was busy, and she got up to take a shower.

After her last patient left, she was locking up the surgery - and suddenly stopped in the middle of the waiting room. She'd already turned off the lights, and she saw large wet snowflakes fall behind the windows, in the cone of yellow light under a streetlamp.

Viola realised - deeply, to the very fibre of her being - that she was, at the moment, completely and utterly alone.

She had an evening all to herself now. She had two new books of Olivia Dane, take-away sushi she'd ordered but hadn't eaten for lunch, and half a bottle of excellent Prosecco from the day before. And although she had lived in this manner for the past few years, tonight her solitude felt most poignant. Viola asked herself how exactly she felt about it - and realised she didn't know. She then turned around and went upstairs into the flat.

She poured the wine in a glass and took out the takeaway container when her phone rang.

"Hello," she greeted Rhys merrily.

"Hi." She could hear the smile in his voice. "So, you see, what happened was–" he started. "Well, let's just say, I'm about a ten minute drive from you," he interrupted himself.

Viola's hand with the flute froze mid-air.

"Oh," she said and grinned widely. "I thought you were out of town. But I'm not complaining!" she added hurriedly and laughed. "I'll pour you some Prosecco."

"Well, I was going to stop by the cottage, take a shower, and–" he said, and she heard something suspiciously reminiscent of a yawn. "I thought maybe you'd like to take a cab here? Seeing, you probably don't want Fenton to hear us, because it's going to be–" He cleared his throat. "I need to show you how much I've missed you," he finished in a low voice.