Loving Mr. McDonald

The Art Of Lying

Kaylynn broke down crying so we all just awkwardly stood as she tried to calm herself down. She had proof that she couldn't have been the one sending the Charlie's Chicken Chicken to attack. She showed us her phone call history, she'd been talking to some loser named Spencer Reid for the last ten hours.

She was only at the station to tell off her former lover and something about her story just made sense. She was just a sad, desperate, lonely lady - not a lunatic.

That of course only left me with more questions. If it wasn't Kaylynn then who was the snake? The weatherman? One of my friends? Was I still in danger?

The rescheduled interview came around and I showed up with a body guard thanks to McDonald's constant nagging over my safety. Getting a body guard for the day finally shut him up.

"Hey," a quiet voice says from behind me, "could you get Mr. McDonald? I need to do his makeup."

"Sure. Let me just set this mocha frappe down."

I make my way towards the dressing room and knock on the door. Mr. McDonald was in the same suit but it had clearly been professionally cleaned.

"The makeup artist needs you." I tell him, once again in shock over his appearance. Pull yourself together girl! He's a freaking clown!

"Is it Krysta?"

"I don't know. It was some chick with black hair and dainty hands."

"Dainty hands? Yeah, that's her. She's the only one who can do my makeup right."

"How hard is it to do clown makeup?" I ask.

"That's just my face," McDonald says as if I just made fun of him, "she just does touch ups."

I didn't have time to process that information so I led him to Krysta. She thanked me before getting to work.

"Shay," Ericka calls, "could you help me?"

I walk over to see my best friend drinking my mocha frappe. I stomp over to her, rage engulfing me.

"Don't freak out. This isn't yours."

"Oh, sweet."

"I stole this from the nurse, Ella."

I chuckled and helped Ericka organize a few things off set. I eventually got bored so I left in the middle of it. Ericka didn't even bother to call me back, she knew I was done.

"Ella," I shout, "what's up?"

Ella turns, her platform scandals squeaking on the floor. Instead of answering my question, she just lets out a "yolo" before dancing away.

Oh.

I continued wandering around and chatting it up with some of the crew members. Benton was lulling me to sleep with tech talk, but I escaped when the show was about to begin.

McDonald was on stage with the interviewer... the weatherman?! I guess Kortney's date with Damon ended, because here she was. This might be bad.

The live audience started loosing their minds when a dude yelled action and a camera was shoved in McDonald's face. I felt myself getting nervous, I hoped they didn't drill him with super personal questions.

When I convinced McDonald to come in the first place, I told him about my connection with the producer - Ericka. I promised that they'd all be softball questions. But was that true? Yes? No? I won't know until the questioning starts I suppose.

McDonald introduced himself and Kortney was setting up what was about to go down.

"Mr. McDonald agreed to come to this exclusive interview so we're going to milk him as best we can. Are you guys ready to learn about his deepest secrets?"

CRAP.

"Just kidding you guys."

YES.

"Or am I?"

CRAP.