Secrets [H.S.]

18.

Aurora DiLorenzo

Wow, I've missed it here.

I hadn't been to Italy in the last two years. I was young and dumb and thought what's one anniversary that I miss, and then it turned to two. I was so stupid choosing a boy over my family, over my mom.

I hope she's not disappointed in me.

I hope she's proud of me now. I've overcome a lot of things that I've struggled with over the years that no one but her knows about, not even Isla. My mom will always be my guardian angel. I choose to believe that she's watching over me always.

As soon as the plane landed I came here. I think my dad and Cora knew I needed this, to do this by myself before we all came down here.

I needed the time with my mom alone. I had missed out two years in a row and I don't want to miss out on anymore.

"Hi, Mama. I missed you." I look around, no one really around except a man and a child on the far side of the cemetery and a woman sitting under a tree a few feet away from me. She can probably here every word I'm saying, but it doesn't bother me. I just want to talk to my mom.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to come see you, but I'm here now. I'm here for a week and I thought I would catch you up on my life since the last time we spoke. I know you watch over me, but it's better when I get to tell you like this."

I stretch my legs out in front of me, trying to figure out what exactly I want to share. My life has been hectic the last two years and I don't want to dump everything on her, besides she already knows it all anyway, I just want to vocalize some of it.

"I don't even know where to start. The past two years have been crazy and I barely saw dad and Cora. I feel like a terrible daughter and sister. I was so focused on trying to fix a relationship that was so far gone and I didn't even realize. I'm glad that part of my life is over now though. I did meet someone new. Wasn't even looking when he came in my life and I'm so glad he did."

I think back to this past week. I spent most nights with Harry, like usual and it was absolutely wonderful. He took me on a date. We went to L.A. to get away from everyone and had a nice meal together. He was the sweetest. He made sure I had everything I wanted. Just thinking about him makes me all giddy inside. I can't help but have the biggest smile on my face.

"He makes me really happy, Mama. He could definitely be an epic love. It just sucks because dad warned me about him and told him to not even try it. He works for dad, his best man actually. I can't help it though. I want to be with him and he wants to be with me. Don't tell dad though, I don't feel like losing him yet." I smile, staring at her gravestone.

God, I fucking miss her. All I want is to have my mom back. I wish I could be talking to her about this stuff rather than her grave. I really hope she's out there somewhere, knowing how much I miss her, how much I need her. I feel the tears pricking in my eyes. I clear my throat, that familiar feeling from crying starting to form in the back of my throat.

"Anyway, I just wish you were here so you could meet him. I think you would really like him. He reminds me a lot like dad honestly. He's a big softie for me, not like that with anyone else. He's intimidating, but he's the complete opposite with me. Maybe I'll bring him here to meet you one day."

"I miss you every day, wish you didn't have to go so soon." I look down at my hands folded in my lap. Taking a deep breath, I look back up. "I love you Mama, I'll see you in a little bit when I come back with daddy and Cora. Remember, keep my secret for me, please."

I blow her a kiss before standing to my feet. I had walked here since the cemetery was only about a 10 minute walk from my grandparent's house. I make my way out of the cemetery and pull out my phone to call Isla since I had forgotten when I landed.