Homeless

Chapter 23

Danielle's POV

I wake up to a pounding headache and feel like I got hit in the head with a sledge hammer. I look up at my wall clock to see that it's 6pm. The afternoon got away from me. When I roll over, I see a tall glass of water and two Tylenol tablets sitting on my nightstand. I eagerly toss the tylenol in my mouth before chugging the glass of water in front of me. I definitely needed that.

As much as I don't want to get out of bed, my bladder is screaming for the bathroom. I quickly hop out of bed and run to the toilet.

While I'm in the bathroom, I decide to hop in the shower. I am still in my work clothes and smell like a New York City subway.

As the hot water cascades over me, I realize that I don't fully remember what happened today. I remember going to work and going to brunch with Derke afterwards. I also remember having at least three mimosas. But everything after that is a complete blur. I don't know how I made it home. I don't know how I made it into bed and I definitely don't know how I woke up to tylenol and water on my bedside table. But I suspect Derek had a lot to do with it.

When my headache starts to clear, I turn the shower off and step out. I slap some moisturizer on and lotion my body. For pajamas, I decide on my favorite Aerie camisole and with matching pajamas pants. They're a warm beige color and remind me of winter.

As soon as I open my bedroom door, I am hit with a rich aroma of Italian food. I can't tell what it is but I definitely smell a tomato sauce and garlic.

"Hey," I say to Derek when he sees me coming down the stairs.

"There's sleeping beauty," Derek jokes. "I was getting a little bit worried about you, ya know? I checked on you twice in the last hour to make sure you were okay."

"I appreciate that," I say as I take a seat at the kitchen island. My heart feels warm when I hear Derek say that. "So this is embarrassing but the last thing I remember is sitting in the restaurant and sipping on my mimosa. I don't remember anything after that."

I bury my face in my hands for a moment before looking up at Derek. He pulls a tray out of the oven and sets it on the stove. It's a lasagna and instantly the whole kitchen smells even more fragrant.

"You don't remember anything?" Derek asks as he slides off the kitchen mit. "Not the subway ride? Or coming home? Or our conversation? Nothing?"

"What conversation?" I ask.

Derek laughs. "Well, it wasn't really a conversation per say." He grabs a salad bowl out of the fridge as well as some dressing. He pours the dressing on the salad and puts it on the counter.

"What did we talk about?" I push. Drunk me can be really unpredictable so I am hoping I didn't say anything too crazy.

Derek's cheeks show a bit of red and I already know it's going to be bad. But I really want to know.

"Are you gonna tell me?"

"You wanted to 'have some fun' upstairs," Derek says using air quotes. As soon as he says it, my huge pit develops in my stomach.

"Damn," I say. "Did I really say that?"

"Yup." Derek grabs two large dinner plates and places them on the counter. "You also told me that I was strong, sexy, 'so freakin' hot.' Pretty generous compliments actually."

I take my hand and facepalm myself. "I really hope you're kidding."

"Nope, not kidding." Derek cuts into the lasagna and puts a large piece on each of our plates. He scoops out some salad before placing my plate in front of me and placing his plate in front of the empty chair to my right. He's being so nonchalant about the whole thing that I don't know how to feel.

"I was going to ask you what you wanted to drink but I think water is a good idea. Is that okay?"

I nod my head. "Yeah."

We start to eat but my mind is still racing over this drunk conversation.

"Did I say anything else?" I ask.

"That was pretty much it," Derke says, taking another bite of food. "I carried you upstairs, tucked you in and that was the end of it."

I let out a small sigh of relief that that's where it all ended. Drunk me is definitely more aggressive than sober me.

"I'm sorry," I say. I pick at my lasagna. It smells delicious but my anxiety is at an all time high and I'm starting to feel sick. I hope I didn't scare Derek.

"Happens," Derek shrugs.

"It really doesn't though," I say. Derek seems to want to sweep it under the rug but I want to address it. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That was so inappropriate and so uncalled for. If the roles were reversed, I would be feeling really uncomfortable. So I'm sorry Derek."

Derek places his hand on my thigh. "Apology accepted. But seriously Dani, you don't need to worry about it."

"Well I'm worried about how it made you feel."

Derek takes his hand back before taking a long swig of water. He sets his glass down before picking it up again and taking another long drink. He finishes off his water before placing it back on the counter.

"I had a number of thoughts cross my mind to be honest," Derek starts. "Can I just share them all with you unfiltered? I'm still processing them."

"Yeah, sure." I push my lasagna away. There's no way I'll be able to eat after this conversation.

"Well one of my first thoughts was that it felt good to be desired. Even as a guy, it feels good to know someone thinks of you that way. But it also kinda made me think of Roxy. We would always be drunk or high when we had sex. Or at the very least, I would be. And that wasn't a good memory that came up."

When Derek says this, my stomach lurches. I hop off the bar stool and run into the downstairs bathroom as my brunch from earlier makes a reappearance into the toilet. I can't stop yakking as the feeling of dread takes over and I feel like the scum of the earth. Derek must be disgusted by me.

A minute later, I feel a presence besides me. Derek is next to me, pulling my twists out of my face and back into a makeshift ponytail with his hand as the hair tie. I reach up to flush the toilet when I'm done and Derek lets go of my hair.

"I am so embarrassed and disgusted with myself."

"Why?" Derek asks.

"You literally compared me to Roxy."

"I didn't compare you to Roxy," Derek laughs. "I just said you being drunk and wanting to have sex brought up the memory of Roxy. You are not Roxy in any shape or form. You're a million times the person Roxy could ever hope to be."

"Tomato, tomato," I say.

"Come on," Derek stands up then reaches down to pull me up. "Is there mouthwash in here?"

"Under the sink."

Derek grabs the mouthwash and pours me some in a small Dixie cup. I rinse my mouth and as soon as I put the cup down, Derek pulls me close.

"Now that you don't smell like vomit, I can tell you this. Drunk you said all the things about me that sober me feel about you. You're sexy and strong and 'so freakin' hot.'" Derek laughs at that last bit and I do too. "I might even let you ride me."

I feel the blood leave my face. "I said that? You didn't tell me earlier that I said that."

"Yeah, I left that part out." Derek laughs a little before getting serious again. " I... I know I haven't really said it but I am really attracted to you too Danielle. You're gorgeous inside and out. I'm happy to see this grow and I know we are gonna get to those moments. I just don't want it to be fueled by alcohol."

I'm at a little bit of a loss for words as Derek shares this with me. Before I know it, he's sliding one hand around my waist as the other sits right above my butt. He plants a slow, sensual kiss on my neck before pulling away.

"I would kiss you on the lips," he says, "But you also just threw up." He makes a face and I laugh.

"Don't remind me." We pull apart and smile at each other. My anxiety starts to subside as I realize that I have not completely blown this. In fact, it still feels like it's just the very beginning.