Chapter 12: The Burden of Memories

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Y/N's POV

"What did you say?" Bucky whispered barely audible, raising his head to look me in the eyes.

"I loved Peter...I mean I still love him...but...but I love you too.." I stuttered. "I-I got my st-stupid memories back..." I ran my fingers through my hair pulling at the roots in confusion.

The room went silent...dead silent.

Though everything was silent, my head was screaming and I could barely think straight. I had lived multiple lives simultaneously and yet forgotten each one of them. I lost who I was and I had to rebuild myself again and again. I wasn't the same person, I never would be. I now was simply a collection of broken memories. I couldn't be the same person Peter knew: I was young, independent, and pure. Neither could I be the person Bucky once knew; I was strong, fearless, clueless, and completely dependent on his love. My biggest dilemma when I lived as Stark was being nothing more than my father's shadow, and when I was with Bucky I constantly wondered who I was and where I came from. After he left, all I could think about was why he left.

No one would ever except the new me, they would only love and remember the old parts of me. I would constantly be a disappointment to those who known any of my former selves.

And I was. 

Fears and shadows of the old and new me merged until there was nothing left in my heart but darkness. 

Who do you turn to when the only people in the world that can stop you from crying are exactly the ones making you cry? 


To Be Continued...


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