In love with my best friend

Chapter 2

About two and a half years ago

When I reach the park, I find Namjoon waiting for me. He is sitting on one of the benches and probably reading something on his phone. I, quickly, make my way towards him and sit down next to him.

He looks at me and smiles. "Ah, you're here!"

I nod at him. "What's up! Why'd you call me here?"

For some reason, he looks nervous. "Hopes, I want to talk you about something."

'Something's up! Why is he behaving so weirdly?'  "Go on!" I say cheerfully to ease his nervousness.

"Remember, some time back, you asked me what I wanted for my birthday?" He asks me nervously.

I nod happily, urging him to continue.

"I'm not sure if you'll like what I'm going to ask for."

"Well, you'll not know unless you ask me." I tell him, dramatically.

He doesn't focus on me and looks around nervously.

'What the hell does he want?'  I place my palms on his cheeks and make him look at me. "Look at me."

He slowly lifts his gaze.

"Take a deep breath."

He follows my instructions.

"Now tell me what you want." I tell him encouragingly.

He takes in a breath again. "No matter what you answer, it doesn't change anything in between us, okay?"

"Now you're scaring me. Are you going to ask me to murder someone?"

He chuckles. "I would never ask you to do something like that."

"Thank God!" I let out a breath, dramatically. "What do you want then?" I look at him, expectantly.

"I... I want to do it with you." He speaks too fast for me to understand.

"Hmmm...what was that?"

He takes in a breath. "I want to do it with you."

'What could he possibly want to do with me? Not that!'  "You need to be a bit more clearer with me."

"Yah! You know what I want to do." He says in suppressed frustration.

I nod. "But I would rather hear the words than assume something I should not." 

"Look, you are my best friend. I think, it would be a better experience if I do it with someone I know. I don't want to do it with just somebody. I trust you."

"So just sex?"

"Yes. I can ask only you. But no pressure. Even if you say no, it doesn't change anything in between us. I just want my first time to be with the person I trust." He tells me with complete sincerity.

Honestly, I liked what he just said but I also didn't like what he said. It is flattering that he wants me to be his first. But I don't just want to have sex. Don't people want to do it with the people they love.

I look at him.'Gosh! I have been in love with you for so long.'

He looks at me intently and holds my hands. "You can say no." He tells me reassuringly but I sense his sadness.

"I would do anything for you, almost anything. But this is just too much for me, best friends or not. Maybe, it's the suddenness of it all. Don't you want to do it with somebody you love? Ideally, that's what people want and do."