In love with my best friend

Chapter 8

In the middle of the 2nd Trimester

We are in the cafeteria having breakfast when Yoongi asks, "Are you really going to let this happen?" Yoongi looks at me, intently.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I pretend to be ignorant.

"Come on! We know you're not that dumb." Seokjin says.

"We're talking about them." Hoseok, discreetly, points at another table.

Namjoon and Yoonah are sitting at that table, having lunch together. Namjoon tells her something and she hits him on his hand, playfully.

'This has been happening quite frequently for the past few weeks. Since they are in different streams, the only time they get together, in college, is during breaks. I can tell he is really into her. I know what Joonie looks like when he is interested in someone. After all, I watched him in two different relationships before.'

'I did not watch from the sidelines like some sad friend. Ani! Ani! Ani! My pride wouldn't allow that. I've been in three relationships prior to being'friends with benefits' with Joonie. I thought if I date someone else I'd get over Joonie. Honestly, during the initial phase of the relationships, I really felt like I got over him. Alas! That was only a delusion.'

'I realized if Joonie doesn't feel anything for me then maybe he only thinks of me as a friend. So, I actively tried to get over him. Nothing worked.'

'Why do I love him so much?'

'Then he wanted to have sex with me. Till now, I'm not sure why he asked me. Though, we've been doing it for more than three years now, it still didn't translate into love. I guess, it's best to give up right? I, honestly, do not have it in me to hold on any longer.'

'I have loved him long enough. Now, I need to think about myself. If he doesn't love me, there's nothing I can do about it. It hurts even more this time. Maybe because we've been intimate for so long. To go back to being platonic friends is going to be hard but not impossible.'

'Ever since he has taken a clear interest in Yoonah, Joonie and I have, unspokenly, agreed to stop sleeping with each other. I'd be deeply insulted if he slept with me while harbouring  feelings for someone else.'

"Earth to Hope! Earth to Hope!" Jimin waves his hand right in front of my face.

I'm startled out of my thoughts. I take another look at the possible 'soon-to-be-couple' and look back at the guys. "He is free to do whatever he wants. It's not like he is my boyfriend."

They look at me in shock.

"You're kidding, right?" Taehyung looks at me with wide eyes.

I shake my head.

"I saw you both kissing at Daniel's graduation party." Jeongguk tells us.

"I saw you both kissing in the park a couple of years back." Hoseok says.

My eyes widen at their confessions. "You guys knew?"

They nod, almost looking bored by me.

"Why didn't you guys say anything?"

"We were going to..." Jimin starts.

"But I stopped them." Seokjin interrupts Jimin.

"I stopped them as well. We figured you'd tell us when you are ready." Yoongi adds.