ʟOᴏᴋ ᴀT ᴍE

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Lying on this bed was no less than a dreadful event for me

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Lying on this bed was no less than a dreadful event for me. Fluttering my eyes for few moments, I finally managed to get a view of the place around me. No wonder I was in hospital.

The only thing that striked my brain was the incident, the incident that changed my life, my definition of love. I finally realised the significance of the consequences when you act upon something which is haram. Allah has certainly refrained us from involving in haram things for a reason and today I got the bitter-sweet taste of that reason.

It was sweet because I thought it was love, but it all turned out to be a lust from that monster who thinks of girls as objects to use and throw them like they are nothing.

The reality was harsh and notorious, much worse than my imagination. I was afraid. Frightened to the extent that I might not be able to roam around streets freely.

The feeling I was going through right now was a mixture of fear, heartbreak and innocence. How strange is that, that just one person was enough to evoke every sense of feelings within my heart, belittling me to a mere scarecrow.

I was dismayed on this bed with the oxygen mask. My body has scratches, injuries and marks of bruises. The physical pain will go away. But what about the mental, emotional and psychological pain he tormented to me.

I heard screeching of the door as a tall figure entered the room. As he moved forward, I got a better picture of him.

"She will be discharged in a few hours. We have done some tests. The report will be provided to you tomorrow." I heard the doctor explaining my cousin about my dismantle condition. I winced in pain thinking about my discharge.

How will I face my parents? My mom? The society? Yuhannis?

He saw me. I know for once he did. My brain retained the memory of the incident and in an instant I realised it was him. Did he see me naked? What will he think about me? How am I supposed to tell him what happened to me? Will I be able to? Do I have the courage to do so? I blinked severely pondering about what's going to happen next.

Floods of tears rolled down my eyes. On the surface, I might look fine but from inside I was certainly dying. This world seemed unworthy to me, as if everything has come to end. I just wished to die , just for once I wanted to put an end to all this pain.

My world has turned upside down. I should have known that love comes in all forms. And here I just encountered all of those at ones.

I closed my eyes praying this all never happened. That this is a nightmare and it will end as soon as I open my eyes. But in my heart I knew I am just lying to myself.

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