Roxanne

Chapter 17

Roxanne

I'm assuming no one heard what happened last night since no one came to try and check up on me.

I hurt, my head hurts, my heart hurts, my body hurts. After my anger vanished last night, at least it did after shattering a vase by throwing it against the wall. I have dried blood on my hands from some of the pieces flying back at me. I broke down crying from the pain of everything, I must've cried myself to sleep.

I don't feel like doing anything, so I'm just going to stay in my room all day. I just stared at the wall.

After an hour of two of staring I heard a knocking at my door. I didn't respond.

There was another knock, I still didn't respond.

Then there was a third knock, I still didn't respond.

The door finally opened and there was Josh walking in, a ray of light came through my door causing me to cover my eyes.

"Avery?" I heard Joshes voice ask. Her turned on the light and he turned around and looked at me.

"Oh shit, Avery! Whats wrong?" He came over to me. I sighed.

"Me and Liam had a fight last night and broke up." I fought back the tears. I started shaking from keeping them held in.

"Here, scoot over." I did as he said and moved back towards the wall. Josh climbed in bed under the covers. His arm wrapped around me and pulled me towards him. I rested my head in his chest and he gently stroked my hair.

"So tell me what happened love." He sounded serious for once, and I'm not use to it. I guess it's a good thing that he's here, or else I'd be lost in my own thoughts.

I told him everything, including the part where I slapped him before storming out. I felt tears streaming down my face again. I guess he knew because he hugged me tighter and I just hid my face in his chest, letting my tears soak into his shirt.

"Just let it out princess, I'm here." Josh might annoy me most of the time, but he's always been a really good friend. I know he cares. I'm grateful for that. I'm also kinda glad it was him instead of the girls. They'd be ready to beat up Liam, I don't want that. I know I might hate him, but I don't want anyone to hurt him.

We laid there together for a few hours, I thought about what I need to do. My best bet is to get out of here. I should at least tell Josh so he can help me get out of here, he might not let me at first but I'll talk him into to letting me.

"Josh?" I finally spoke up again breaking the silence.

"Hmm?" Oops, I think I woke him up.

"I need to tell you something."

"What's up?"

"I need to leave." It went silent for a minute.

"What do you mean... leave?" You can hear the confusion in his voice.

"I mean, I need to get out of here. Move on with my life." It went silent again, I felt Josh's body tense from under me.

"What... what about me? And Chloe? And Rubin? And even Ian? We love you Avery. We can't lose you, you're family to us." His voice cracked at the last word. I couldn't get myself to look at him, I'd be afraid he would be crying.

"Josh, I love you all too, but... I can't stay here. I can't fight anymore, so I'm just a burden. I don't want to live here on freewill. Plus, I feel like there's something more out there for me than staying here." He went silent again. His body is still tense. I felt him take a deep breath before letting it out.

"What do you need me to do to help you Avery?" I was shocked by his question. I finally sat up and looked at him. His eyes were blood shot, he had been crying. It upset me seeing him cry, but I need to put myself first.

"Help me pack, then help me sneak out tonight, please." He just looked at me for a moment before nodding his head.

"Go get a shower, I'll run to my room and grab one of my bigger backpacks and I'll start packing your stuff. I promise I won't get caught either." I quickly hugged him.

"Thank you Josh." I got up and smiled at him, he gave me a weak smile back.

I got up and grabbed an outfit and got showered. Once I finished I put on a black t-shirt, and a pair of dark grey joggers. I brushed my hair out and left it to air dry.

Once I walked out of the bathroom I saw Josh already packing some of my clothes. I quickly joined him, bringing my stuff from the bathroom.

We packed in silence. I told him I wanted to stay in my room before I left, just to tell everyone that I'm sick and just want to be left alone. He agreed and left my room for the day.

***

It was night time, everyone should be asleep by now. There was a light knock on my door, just enough for me to hear it. I quietly opened my door and Josh was standing there.

"You ready?" He questioned.

"Hold on." He walked into my room closing my door as I turned around. I quickly grabbed a notepad and pen and wrote a "goodbye letter". I talked about how I loved everyone, that I'm sorry for leaving, but I hope they understand I need to do what's better for me and them. I continued by mentioning that none of them should try to look for me and that I'll be okay. I signed the bottom of the paper and tore it off the notepad and placed it on the neatly made bed.

I turned to face Josh who was looking over my shoulder, reading the note. I saw hurt in his eyes.

"Now I'm ready." I grabbed the backpack Josh gave me. "Can you walk out with me?" I asked and he quickly nodded and gave me a weak smile.

We walked outside and it was kinda chilly, I didn't bring a jacket and Josh saw me shiver. He quickly took his off and wrapped it over my shoulders.

"Do you really have to leave?" He questioned with sadness in his eyes. I can tell he's on the urge of crying.

"I'm sorry Josh, but I have to. You all will do fine without me." We just looked at each other for awhile. I really needed to leave before the others wake up for some reason. Especially Ian. I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Will I ever see you again?" Josh asked, keeping deep eye contact with me. I gave him a faint smile.

"How about we let fate decide that." He nodded and smiled. I sighed once again, fighting back tears this time.

"I love you Josh, take care." As I turned around to walked off, I was yanked back and wrapped into a warm hug from Josh. I quickly returned it. Tears started streaming down my face again. He kissed my head and we pulled apart. He had tears streaming down his face too.

"I love you too Avery. Please, take care of yourself. You know where we're at if you ever decide to come back." I nodded my head. He wiped the tear falling from my face. I've never been good at goodbyes, but damn this one hurts.

I turned around to walk off again, but stopped to turn back. Josh waved at me with a weak smiled, I smiled and waved back.

I turned back around and began walking to, well, wherever.