Love is Pain, Pain is love by L. Glz

Chapter 3

Christian pic ^

I layed in bed and thought about everything, analysing every little thing. I don't think I'm ready for this relationship. I don't think i can handle so much commitment. I'm still young and this is really stressing me out. Why when i have a good guy i have to mess it up? He's like everything a girl wants. But he's not everything i want. I know i can't keep going on with this relationship. I don't feel happy anymore and its hurting me.

I grabbed my phone and tried to get my mind off of it. I started texting my friends, going on social networks, listening to tupac, just doing anything possible to get it off my mind. I started taking pictures too and posted one on instagram. As i was looking through my notifications on instagram and saw who was liking my picture, I saw one guy in particular catch my attention. I went to his profile and i didn't know who it was a first. I didn't even know i had him or even followed him on instagram. I went through his pictures and it immediately clicked. It was christian! I liked most of his pictures and i can say he is soooo fine. The thing is, we grew up on the same street when we were small. We came from the same hood and i always had a crush on him since i was like 7. I didn't really talk to him much cause i was so shy and well i always played and talked to his older sister. That was the only way i would see him around. I was hoping i would catch his attention or something. I know it was wrong, i had a boyfriend and it made me feel horrible, but when i saw him on instagram i felt something.

Hours passed by and i had checked my instagram one last time to see if he returned the likes on my pictures. He did, and he even screenshot and gave me a shoutout on instagram for showing him love. Its kind of stupid but i literally felt like my heart was about to jump out my chest. I wasn't intending on having something with him. I had my own problems to have one more. I just got over it and moved on with my day. He was fine and all but its like I can't do my boyfriend like that. He don't deserve that so i just let it go and went to bed.

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Summers almost here, my relationship with Ivan wasn't going to good. We we're arguing more and i just didn't feel the love there anymore. Awhile back i felt like i was on top of the world, but now i feel like this relationship is dead. There was no hope to fix this anymore, we'll not on my part. Ivan wanted to make it work. We took our breaks but it felt so good not worry about him and our relationship. It felt so good to be able to breath for once after all these months. I'm not the clingy type of girl and Ivan needs love 24/7, he needs to talked to me all day and everyday. I don't need to do that. We don't need to talk all day to know where we stand. I'm just not that type and we'll he is.
Its the last week of school and everyone is so excited for summer. Jasmines going to Mexico to visit her dad and we'll i'm spend my summer with my sister here. My parent's are going to Texas to visit the family and Mexico to visit my grandparents. I didn't want to go with all the violence going on with people getting robbed.

"Dude when you leave you better hit me up on facebook!" i said
"Obviously bff, i got to keep up with all the chismes you got for me" jasmine said laughing
"Oh my god, I'ma miss you so much. I don't know what i'ma do with you gone" i said
"Don't worry! me, you, Isabel, and kayla can group chat on facebook!"
We walked to our class just before the bell rand. "I'll see you later!"

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It felt like the week went by so fast, everybody was getting ready to get out of school and on their way to where ever they were going for the summer. Some left before school was over to get a head start on packing and leaving. I stayed the whole day and had our yearly end of the year assembly. I was so ready to get going and not worrying about waking up early in the morning.
The last bell rang, everybody was rushing out the gym to go get their stuff from their lockers and i was just saying bye to everyone i wasn't going to see for awhile. I thought that i would finally get a break from stressing but then i remembered the problems i have outside of school, Ivan. For a moment i was so happy because i was finally going to my sisters. All that went away as soon as i thought about Ivan. My sister was outside waiting for me and i was happy to see her but i know i wasn't going to have the best summer.