Is this the final stop? (Toni Shalifoe)

Chapter 11

Shelby's eyes are closed as she kisses Toni. It's light and sweet, but it's purposeful. And on the lips. Toni's leaning into the kiss, her hands instinctively moving to Shelby. Then thinks about what is actually happening.

She can feel Shelby's warm hand on her face.

Toni backs away and blinks hard. Eyes widening with surprise. There's also a flicker of confusion.

Why now? Why me? She thinks.

Toni's phone vibrates. She looks down at it. Basketball practice in 10 minutes. She looks back up at Shelby and squeezes past her, stumbling a bit.

"Toni, wait!" Shelby yells.

Toni goes down the slide, sliding all the way and jumps off. She turns around, for just a second, her eyes squinting up at a paralyzed Shelby, thinking hard, and she runs off.

Shelby trembles at the top of the tower, a shaky hand touches her lips.

And Toni runs. And runs.

Running to practice couldn't have been a better outlet. For energy. For her feet to hit the ground as hard as she wants to punch something. She's sprinting. As fast as she can. A weak attempt at expelling any kind of emotions, these pent up, intrusive feelings.

Feelings she can absolutely not have. Not in that house. With that family.

But with that girl? Could it be?

Stomp, no, stomp. Her feet pound the pavement.

Toni's energy sputters out, she doubles over, hands bracing on her knees, catching her breath. Her whole world has turned upside down.

Shelby, the girl she thought was some prissy, privileged pageant queen. The girl, who she now knows, likes girls.

It kind of all makes sense, Toni thinks. The words of all their conversations ringing in her ears, the coy looks, the secret smiles. She never saw it before.

She realizes that this was the first time Toni's seen Shelby. Really saw her. Who she is. Who she hides.

Well, maybe she didn't really see Shelby. Her eyes were closed. Why did I close my eyes? She thinks. It was nothing. An automatic response, she decides.

She starts jogging again, but much slower, using this time to try and think. Try and map out all the moments that were more than moments. More than what met the surface. From the time that they first met, and that weird handshake, to any instance their hands touched. One of them would always flinch away. Like holding it for too long would be a sin.

At least in Shelby's mind it would be.

Well, until now.

Toni makes it back to the school. 4:28pm. She's winded. She gathers herself outside, before going in, knowing she'll get pushed hard by the coach in practice. They have a game on Friday.

"Shit, what are you running from?" Leah asks, sitting on the rails, outside the door.

Toni jumps, startled. She didn't notice anyone was sitting outside. For that matter, Toni hadn't noticed anything this entire time. She's too busy with her memories, playing pictures like a little movie.

"You're deep inside your head." Toni hears Leah say. Leah gives a sly smile, "That's usually my thing."

"Back off."

Leah pops her eyebrows up and says, 'I guess you can take the lead for a bit."

Toni cocks her head slightly, trying to decode the underlying message, but isn't that interested, "Practice," she says, pointing at the gym. Then runs off.