Is this the final stop? (Toni Shalifoe)

Chapter 39

tw: slight mentions of abuse

It was another night Toni got little sleep.

And another night her foster father was the root to her problems.

Her mind races, playing different scenarios of him in the same place as her. Walking around this town, touring the high school, lurking in the back of the church, listening to Dave's sermon. The worst part being that the last two already happened. The worst has already fucking happened.

She imagines the two of them, her foster father and Dave. That they would be friends if their paths had crossed earlier. She wrestles with the thought that in no way can Shelby's path cross with his. Toni will make sure of that. She doesn't know how, but she will do everything in her power to protect Shelby.

Not only from Dave. But now from her own foster father. Her dark past.

She honestly didn't figure the problem would arise. Toni fully expected the threats to be surface level. She didn't expect him to act on them. But acting erratically was what that man did best. He never followed a schedule, he always kept Toni on pins and needles when she was around him. Never sure if the wrong TV show would set him off or if his beer wasn't cold enough. And he was dangerous. He was a threat to everything then: losing Martha, failing classes, getting hurt.

And he's a threat to everything now: Shelby.

She's just not sure what she can do about it.

She knows exactly what she can do about it. Tell Shelby. Her words ringing in her head, Keep openin' up to me. While this may be the first time opening up, Shelby is worth it. Maybe she can help? Toni asks herself.

But Shelby will probably suggest some irrational fix like a restraining order. Toni doesn't like judges. They've always caused more problems than solved. Plus, it'll bring up the long list of complaints in her file and that will only hurt Toni's case, not help.

Toni flips to the other side of her bed, her teeth grinding in thought. She looks at the clock. Nearly 3:30am. Surely this isn't what Shelby meant, right? Toni asks herself. Before she has time to answer that question, Toni realizes she's padded over to the door and she silently turns the handle. The hinges betray her and squeak as the door opens. Toni wants to curse under her breath, but decides against it, in fear she's making too much noise already.

She tiptoes across the hall, thankful the Goodkind family invested in a plush, thick carpet. Her hand hesitates on Shelby's doorknob. She hears something. A sigh. Maybe a yawn? Could it be that Shelby's awake? Maybe even scrolling on her phone?

Toni winces at the thought that she should've brought her own phone. To text Shelby while she's waiting outside her door. She looks back at her own room and sees it sitting on the nightstand. Another sound. Toni's heart begins to race. Could it have been another notification? Another message from her foster father? Toni turns her head back to Shelby's door, putting her ear closer to it. And she recognizes the sound from behind Shelby's door. A light snore.

Shelby is in a deep sleep. And Shelby is snoring. Toni quietly chuckles at the realization. It's a pretty snore, Toni thinks. She shakes her head and lowers her hand from the doorknob. She retreats back into her own room, not wanting to disturb Shelby's slumber. She's got time. And it'll still be hours before her alarm will startle her awake. She could even get some shuteye herself.

So, Toni tries to fall back asleep. But she starts to wonder if she had fallen asleep in the first place. Had she woken up and it was already 3:30am? Or has she been up this whole time with a pit in her stomach? Unsure if she was in the in-between of sleep and awake, she shakes her head. That discombobulating time of nodding off throws her for a loop. She looks up in the pitch black room. She curls her hands in the sheets, tightening and releasing.