Is this the final stop? (Toni Shalifoe)

Chapter 28

Toni thinks Shelby looks relaxed. She knows religion is important to her, and this family outing is starting to feel normal. Shelby gives her a tight lipped smile and walks down the stairs, her hair high in a tight ponytail. It bounces and swings left to right. Toni is almost hypnotized by it.

After Toni's fake bout of motion sickness, she has since been deemed captain of the front passenger seat, even making Jobeth sit in the back. She first thought this would be such a punishment, that sitting next to Dave—who certainly does all the driving and probably doesn't think women are even qualified to do it themselves—would be absolute torture.

But Toni has a second thought. If she was packed in the backseat, smooshed against Shelby? That would be the real torture. To feel her warmth, probably feel their racing heartbeats? Definitely the worst option. She looks over her shoulder into the backseat. Shelby and her mom are in the way, way back smiling to each other. The younger siblings in the middle of the van in their booster seats.

It's still starting to feel like family.

The ride to the church isn't long. The town isn't that big. But the megachurch is, especially for a small town like this, it almost looks like a campus. Toni didn't realize how engaged in this community Dave was, she is surprised at herself for underestimating him.

Toni can see the look in Shelby's eyes reflecting from the rearview mirror, but she can't quite decipher it. She watches Shelby watch the cars pass as if she's mesmerized by it. Toni immediately pulls out her phone and shoots off a text, "All good?"

Shelby feels the vibration, looks down at her messages, then back up at the rearview mirror, this time her eyes connect with her. Toni nods and gives her a small smile. Shelby looks away, not offering anything in return. Toni wasn't too nervous about this, even if she's never attended one of these before. Until now. Until seeing this guarded version of Shelby, with a wall built high.

Dave pulls into the parking spot for Pastor. What is with the Goodkinds and their own parking spots? Toni thinks. Class President with Shelby and now Pastor for Dave. As Dave unclicks his seatbelt, he tries to start a quick conversation with Toni. The rest of the kids are starting to file out of the car.

She stays belted in, wary of making any sudden moves around Dave.

"I just wanted to say," Dave starts, "that we're all real blessed to have you here at our parish. I'm assumin' you've never been to one of these before..."

Toni looks down, not brave enough to meet his eyes.

"So, I thought I'd give you our hymnal." He offers her the book. Toni makes sure their hands don't touch. "I also highlighted and annotated some parts that might speak to you."

Toni resists squinting her eyes at him. She takes a look at the hymnal and nods. Not sure what else to say.

"That's real kind of you, Dave," Jobeth says, leaning on the window, kindly eavesdropping. Toni turns her head to look at her, she can see the lightness in her eyes. She recognizes the same thing in Shelby's.

Just not today.

Toni unclicks her seatbelt and Jobeth opens the door, waving an arm out as if Toni's doing a grand entrance. Toni can't help but smile. Her eyes find Shelby straightening Spencer's tie. Very focused, her eyes are squinting slightly. Toni keeps smiling.

Shelby finds her watching, she clears her throat and leads Spencer away. Toni's eyebrows furrow, and she fully steps out of the car. Hymnal in hand.

Toni walks slowly towards the church, taking it in, all these families pouring in from the parking lot. Suits, ties, dresses. Toni feels very underdressed in her black pants and button down striped shirt. It's one of the only nice things she has. Martha helped her pick it out.