Rival

Nothing

My legs felt heavier.

I fluttered my eyes open to find myself in a sterile room, nothing but white walls surrounded me and the smell of cleaning products hitting my nostrils.

A man in his mid 30s stood with his back turned to me. It looked like he was messing with something on the desk that lay in front of him.

"Where am I" I whispered. The pain in my chest returning but less excruciating.

"Oh good you're awake" the man chirped a bit too happy. "We gave you anaesthetics while you were unconscious , but it seems it knocked you out longer then expected". He strode towards me.

"I'm doctor Khan by the way"

"Kiera" I simply said staring at the wires attached to my hands. "How long have I been out"

"Two days" he checked my monitor.

My body instantly shot up "what. What's going on?"

Then it hit me "Ronan, I need to get out here" I scrambled on the bed, looking down to find me in only a robe.

Khan rushed towards me "you need to calm down, if you put more pressure on your foot you could permanently lose use of it"

"I don't care about any of that, I need to check on Ronan" I pulled the wires attached to my arm and hand.

"Someone is looking after that, you need to rest" he instructed.

"I don't have time for that" I brushed him away "painkillers will work fine. Oh and maybe crutches"

I wrapped the robe tighter on my body. I didn't know where my clothes were or who had taken them off, but I wouldn't over think that, it was time I stopped hiding.

I heard Khan sigh behind me, handing me a pair of crutches and some pain killers and water bottle "you need to take care Kiera, especially now" his voice became sturdy.

"You're not allowed to just think about yourself anymore, there are other lives you're  messing with"

"I understand"

****

I hopped into the main area of the warehouse, the room full of cluster and mutters. They were pacing from place to place preparing.

Leah headed my way, her eyes no longer shined golden, her dark skin no longer glowed and the beautiful curls on top of her head no longer bounced with each step.

"Shouldn't you be resting" she sounded wary.

I moved closer towards her "what's going on" raising a brow.

"Well" she sighed "we're preparing for Ronan's funeral" his name hit my chest "and Sebastians" she muttered almost unnoticeable "some of the oldies have been looking after Sebastian's, now yours, business. Trying to sort out deals and cancel any that aren't important or need his approval. You know keeping you up to track". She finished.

"Thank you" I whispered looking down at the ground unable to meet her stare.

"His in one of the care beds" she spoke, placing one hand on my shoulder.

"Sophia has been going in and out once in a while so just, think before you say anything"

" I will" giving her a sincere smile.

Leaving her, I began making my towards the care room, noticing everyone's stares and low murmurs but I ignored them.

My fingers trembled at the door knob refusing to turn the door. I took a shaky breath before I walked in.

Once I entered, a figure stood beside his body, tightly gripping onto one of his hands. Small sobs echoed around the room, making it unavoidable.

The figure turned around and spotted me, their face twisting into something ugly. "You bitch!" Sophia stood up, making her way towards me.

I didn't have time to open my mouth, before a hand connected with my cheeks, my head instantly whipping to the side. "this is all your fault" she pointed her figure at me.

"You had to go and get him involved. Wasn't it enough that he chose you over me" she snapped and I kept quite, accepting what she threw at me.

"It should have been you laying in this bed" tears streaked her cheeks.

"I know" was all I said.

"YOU KNOW? THEN WHY ISN'T IT"

"I don't know"

"And Sebastian, you had to kill him too, it wasn't enough that you were his favourite. You wanted more that you killed him for it" she carried on.

"Are you happy now"

I stayed quiet.

"Well congratulations" she returned to the seat, grabbing her jacket that hung on the back "you got what you wanted"

Sophia pushed passed me that I couldn't help but stumble far back until I hit the wall behind me.

I picked myself back up without giving her a second thought and moved towards him.

I sat down and stared. Stared at what I had done, what happened because he got close to me, so close I couldn't help but love the warmth he gave me.

" I love you too" I picked up his cold hand and kissed the top of it.

I hadn't told him the time we made love because I wanted to tell him when we got back to my apartment, when we were going to leave this job and start fresh.

But I was too late.

And now he'll never know.

I rested my head beside him and let the tears stream down my face. I closed my eyes imagining him running his fingers through my hair like he had done the nights we slept together.

I could almost hear his voice saying 'I love you'. What I would kill to hear his voice again, feel his warm touch on my skin or his hot breath hoovering over my lips.

What I would give to hear him say my name, to insult me, praise me, encourage me. But he was no longer here, no longer with me.

And it was all my fault

"I love you, too" I trembled.

****

I didn't know how long I stayed that way, until I felt a firm grip looped around my legs, picking me up and carrying me away.

"Ronan" I muttered in my sleep.

My body lay on top of something soft and I couldn't help sink in deeper. "Try and get some rest" a firm voice said.

I couldn't make out whose voice it was as I fought with sleep to stay awake. But eventually sleep won and I returned back to my numb place.