𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐖𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐁𝐞 | 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐫 ✅

37 - The Lady Letitia MacKenzie of Castle Leoch

Two Months Later,

16th September 1742

I was cold all the time. My feet ached constantly. I was always hungry and had a headache that lingered for two or three days at a time.

And Jamie still hadn't arrived at Leoch.

Curiously, I knocked on the wooden door and waited for Colum to allow me in. I wondered, and not for the first time, why he had called me to his study. He called from the other side and I opened the door, "my laird." I curtsied as low as I could without feeling like I would topple forwards, bowing my head as a sign of respect to the crippled man.

"Ye dinna have to do that, ye ken." He offered me a hand, helping me to stand up properly. I felt slightly lightheaded at the sudden movement, and Colum must have realised this as he helped me over to an armchair by the fire. "How are ye feeling? I trust that everyone is being as helpful as they can be?"

I nodded, "everyone has been verra... accommodating."

Colum MacKenzie frowned, "that doesna sound best promising." I was silent, pursing my lips together. "What is it, child?"

I did not best like being called child - especially not when I was six months pregnant, and handfast to his nephew.

After a few seconds, I decided that it was best not to speak my quibbles of Leoch life - the constant loneliness which I felt being my main problem. Nobody at Leoch tried to include me in anything, seeing me as an outsider - a Fraser - they all knew what had happened to the last MacKenzie who fraternised with a Fraser... the evidence was my husband and sister-in-law.

"Tis nothing, Colum." I told him, reverting to the name that he had told me to call him when I had first come to Leoch some two months earlier.

He sighed as if he knew that I was holding back, but he did not push me any further. "Ye must be wondering why I asked ye to come to me this afternoon?" I nodded. "I've had Letitia send for the midwife from the village. She's the best, I assure ye - delivers all the castle's bairns - delivered my own, Hamish, as it comes to it."

I had seen wee Hamish on several occasions, and usually running around Leoch like a sprite. He was small and lithe, around eight years old, and always had bright red cheeks from the cold air and a wide smile from the hours that he spent playing with his friends. He was quite sweet and quite polite, and I was sure that he would grow into a braw lad and a wicked leader for the clan MacKenzie.

"The midwife?" I echoed, snapping myself out of my thoughts.

"Aye, she attends to expecting mothers and their babes when they're born. Ye've seen one at Broch Tuarach, I expect?"
I shook my head, "to tell ye the truth, Uncle," he had previously said that it was okay for me to refer to him as so, "the day after I found I was with child, I rode for here."

"Ah well," he paused, "there's time for righting wrongs, is there not?"

I frowned, biting my lip. "Aye. Aye, I suppose there is."
I hated that he thought of Lallybroch as less than Leoch, because I saw Lallybroch as a castle fit for a king, but in truth, Leoch was a lot larger and more grand than home... but it just did not feel the same. No, in my heart, my home would always be with Jamie and at Lallybroch.

Colum himself had walked with me to my room and then gone to fetch the midwife from the Great Hall where the Lady Letitia MacKenzie of Castle Leoch, his wife, was waiting with her.

Letitia and the midwife came into my room without being invited, though the door was open so it was fine by me. I was lying on my bed, resting my feet. My shoes were on the floor somewhere because I had kicked them off.

"Are ye quite alright, lady Broch Tuarach?" Letitia asked by way of a greeting when she saw the flustered look on my face.

I opened my eyes and gave her a small smile, "I've asked ye to call me Eira, lady Leoch."

Letitia smiled, "aye, well..." she paused, looking at the midwife, "this is mistress Jane Humphrey, she's the midwife 'round these parts, ye ken."

I nodded, sitting up slowly and giving mistress Humphrey a small smile. "Pleasure to meet ye, mistress Humphrey."

Letitia introduced me to the midwife, "lady Eira Fraser of Broch Tuarach, expecting her first child in about three months."

I nodded in agreement. Yes, women carried for nine months, typically, though I knew that a bairn could come a little early or late - or more so, if God willed it, though a pregnancy was of higher risk if the babe did not come on time. Delivering in three months sounded right - I had been handfast with Jamie in March, and that had been six months ago.

The midwife smiled at me, "it's nice to meet ye too, Eira. If ye'd lie flat on yer back for me so we can see where the wee bairn is?" I did as I had been told. Mistress Humphrey - she told me that I could call her Jane - put her hands on my swollen stomach and pushed hard as Jenny had done a few months before. "Aye," she said in approval, "looks to be in a good position. Everything seems fine." She reached into the large bag that she had been carrying and took out an odd looking instrument.

"W-what's that?"

"This is to hear the bairn's heartbeat." She put one end against my belly through my dress and corset - which, these days - was incredibly uncomfortable to wear whether it was tight or no - and then she put her ear to the other end. She moved it around a little and then a smile spread across her face. "Aye, it's strong. Yer wee one's going to be a fighter, no doubt about it."
Letitia, who had come to sit on the bed on my other side, took my hand in hers. "A fighter!" She exclaimed in delight, "did ye hear that, Eira?"

"Aye," I paled slightly, "d-does that m-make birth m-more painful?"

The midwife frowned, "it's difficult to say."

"Is ye husband here? I should like to speak with him -"

"He's away right now." I looked at Letitia to explain as best she could as I didn't know what Colum had told people about mine and Jamie's relationship.

"Eira was handfast to the baby's father. He's missing - reckon they'll find him soon, though. Himself's got one hundred men out between here and Edinburgh."

Jane nodded once and then scribbled down a receipt on a piece of paper which she had pulled from her bag, "ye'll be wanting these. The tea should calm yer headaches and keep ye warm. Stay off ye feet as best ye can, and wrap warm linen around them at night before ye sleep to ease the pain."

She handed Letitia the list of what I'd need for the tea. Letitia read through it, frowning.

"Is something wrong?" I asked her.

"Ye'll be needing to visit Geillis Duncan for most of this." Jane was still in the room. Letitia looked up at her and smiled, "ye'll see yeself out, if ye dinna mind? Eira's feeling quite unwell, and she needs tending."

"Och, aye." Jane smiled at Letitia before she turned to me, "and if ye have any worries, then send for me, day or night."
I nodded, "I will. Thank ye."

She left and I turned to Letitia, "Geillis Duncan? The fiscal's wife?"

"Aye, and the witch." Letitia looked pale, "I'll have one of the maids go for ye. Ye shouldna ride all the way there and back in yer condition besides."

"I'm capable of a few miles, I'm sure." Actually, the opportunity to get out in the fresh air and get some exercise sounded quite appealing.

But Letitia was insistent, "nay, tis unhealthy for the bairn. The jumbling of the horse turns it inside out!"

I was sure that wasn't true, but for the sake of my child, I did not want to risk it.

"Well if it's no trouble to have one of the maids go...?"

"Of course it isn't!" Letitia beamed, "ye're a guest of the clan MacKenzie, and it'd be a pleasure for any of our girls to go for ye!"
I quite liked Letitia - she was kind to me, and helped me to pass my boredom quite often. Usually I did needlework to some degree, but when that failed to occupy my mind, she allowed me to borrow a book from her's and Colum's private shelves, or she walked with me through the gardens.

She stood up and left the room to find a maid to go to the village - and Geillis Duncan - for me.