EXPOSED! P.P Oneshots/Imagines

Field trip preparations

"Ned, it's not a big deal!" Peter tried, still pleading.

"Peter, no!" Ned repeated himself for what felt like the fifth time.

"You don't even have to do anything, you can just hold the knife and I'll jump into it," Peter suggested.

"Peter, I won't stab you!" Ned told sternly.

"But it'll heal! The mental trauma from the field trip will be eternal, Ned. Do you really want to do that to me? Your best friend?" Peter asked, holding a hand over his chest in clear betrayal. 

"Peter!" 

"Fine," Peter reluctantly agreed, rolling his eyes unhappily. 

"God, sir, don't you know that stealing is rude?" Peter asked the man, landing behind the robber in the alley in his typical superhero position.

"I ain't stealing shit, kid," the guy replied in a mutter, going through his backpack, his back still turned to Peter.

"Well, you say that, but you see, you've been on the news for robbing grocery stores pretty much daily, and I just think it'd be really neat if you would stop," Peter explained to him; "Like, you haven't really done anything, I don't have to stop you yet." 

"I'd like to see you fucking try," the guy said sinisterly before turning around, a smirk on his lips and a gun in his hand. 

"Is that a gun?!" Peter exclaimed surprised.

"Yeah, so don't try anything," the robber warned, pointing it at him.

"Oh my god, this is so great!" Peter realised, practically jumping out of excitement; "Can you please shoot me?" 

"What?" 

"Just a little! In the leg, maybe," he suggested, lifting his leg to make it easier to aim at.

"Man, you're crazy," the robber stated, passing him while remaining as far as away as possible.

"Sir, please! Just once or twice!" Peter pleaded, stepping after him.

"Get away from me, freak!" The guy warned, raising his gun again.

"Just shoot me!" Peter repeated.

"You're fucking crazy, man!" the robber realised, beginning to run away, Peter quickly following.

"Please, sir! Just a little!" 

The guy kept running, unresponsive to Peter's pleads.

"At least hand over the gun so I can do it myself!" Peter yelled after him when he gave up the chase. He felt pretty certain he wouldn't be robbing anything anytime soon, and, well, if he did, Peter wasn't injured (yet) and could catch him.

"Mr. Loki?" Peter asked politely as he entered the living room.

"Yes?" Loki drawled, not bothering to look up from his book.

"Do you remember that time you poisoned Thor?" he asked softly.

"That was last week," Loki pointed out.

"Yes, well, I was wondering if you could maybe poison me this time," Peter suggested, smiling innocently at the good, who finally looked up.

"You'd like to be poisoned?" he repeated slowly.

"Well, not so I would die, just maybe so I'd be in a coma or something," Peter explained; "You see, we have this field trip tomorrow-" 

"I will not poison you," Loki decided.