EXPOSED! P.P Oneshots/Imagines

Incorrect quotes, by Peter Parker

Doctor Strange: I'm a wizard so shut the fuck up

Antman: Dude, chillax

Iron man: Chillax isn't a word

Antman: It's a concept, and if you deny chillax that just shows that you need to chillax

Captain America: Last time I listened to Tony, things didn't go great for me

Black widow: I mean... Do they ever???

Black Widow: I used to think there could never be someone good enough for Spider-man

Tony: Is that.... The end of that sentence?

Black widow: yes

Cap: I need a smoke. Anyone got a cig?

Black widow: Steve u do realise how unhealthy they are right they cause asthma and shit

Cap: No, my doctor prescribed them to me back in the forties

Auntie spider: ....

Cap: ....

Black widow: Steve we have tALKED abouT ThiS!!!

Blac widow: Hey wanda do u wanna know how u figure out your gay name

wanda: *Rolls eyes* sure

Blac widow: It's your first name-

wanda: very funny

blakc widwo: And my last name

wanda...

wande: did u just ask me to marry u

black widow: did u just say yes?

wande: literally no??

wande: but yes

"We have an issue!" Steve stated loudly as he rushed into the common room.

"What's up? Can't figure out how to send a snap?" Clint asked calmly from his spot on the couch.

"No, but that's not the issue. Someone is running a page where they share things we've said!" the team captain explained.

"What do you mean a 'page'?" Natasha inquired.

"He means a profile. It's on Tumblr," Tony interjected, joining Steve from behind; "The owner posts quotes and claims them to be incorrect."

"Tony... Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Bruce asked, slowly standing up from his spot on the couch.

"Someone's leaking private conversations," Natasha realised.

"What have they said?" Wanda asked, her accent thick with worry.

"That's the thing," Steve began; "They're just sharing silly stories. Look for yourself," he offered, tossing the phone to Bruce, who was closest to him.

"Spiderman: Stupid fucking lid

Steve: I wonder where he got that from

Tony: The fucking fridge, Steve," Bruce read aloud.

"So they're not sharing anything... Confidential?" Natasha tried asking.

"I mean, the closest to that is your proposal to Wanda," Tony shrugged.

"Wait, they shared that?" Natasha intervened, grabbing the phone from Bruce.

"What do the people say?" Wanda asked, leaning towards her wife-to-be.

"They... They just think it's a joke," Natasha said baffled.

"Why do it, though? Why bug us just to share those things?" Bruce asked concerned.

"Maybe as a warning?" Steve suggested: "To let us know."

"Hey, guys!" Peter said out of breath as he suddenly stood behind the couch.

"Geez, kid!" Steve said surprised; "Where did you come from?"

"The window. Or as I like to call it, the Peter door," Peter explained casually.

"What's going on, guys?"

"Someone's leaking our conversations from the tower," Natasha informed quickly.

"Oh... Is that not... Allowed?" Peter asked slowly.

Steve looked up in realisation.

"No, Pete, it's not. They're leaking classified, confidential, top-secret conversations!" Natasha sighed out.

"Well... What... If that person did not know that?" Peter argued unsurely.

"Peter," Tony realised.

"I didn't know!" Peter promised.

"You have got to be kidding," Bruce sighed out, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"And nobody even believes it!"

"Peter!" Natasha said angrily.

"I just, I, I-"

"Peter!" Natasha repeated even louder.

"I'm sorry!" Peter tried.

"Guys," Tony interrupted.

"Tony, you cannot let this slide!" Natasha argued, looking directly at him.

"I'm not," he promised before looking at Peter; "Peter.... Not cool, buddy."

"Tony!" Steve interjected; "That's it?"

"What? He knows what he did was wrong!"

"Okay, you know what, I'll deal with you later," Natasha decided before turning to Peter: "Peter, you're on thin ice."

"I'm on the floor."

"It's an expression!"

"It's a carpet," Peter corrected.

Natasha stared at Peter, who seemed to grow smaller by the second.

"Peter, we're not even supposed to have social media accounts, what made you think this was okay?" Bruce tried.

"Tell that to Steve! I found his profile on tinder!"

The entire room turned to Steve, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Steve! What were you thinking!" Bruce lectured.

"More importantly, Peter, what were you thinking?" Tony asked instead.

"Noone knows I'm Spiderman, why shouldn't I be allowed to have a tinder account?!" Peter argued.

"Because you're a kid, kid! I am this close to grounding you!" Tony warned.

"Tony's right," Bruce admitted; "Peter, you have to set it so only age-appropriate people comes up."

"And how exactly do you know you can do that, Bruce?" Natasha asked curiously.

"Guys, guys, GUYS!" Wanda interrupted loudly. Everybody silenced to look at Scarlett Witch.

"We are forgetting the most important question," she stated, turning to Peter.

"Did you swipe right?"

Another quote was posted to the profile that night.

Tony: You're in big trouble, kid!

Peter: 😔

Tony: *softer* okay, but next time there will be consequences

Peter: 😔

Tony: You're right, probably not