Counting Stars

•30•

"It's christmas!" A shrill voice screams, pulling me from the wonderful thing that is sleep.

"Savanna" I groan, rolling over to see savanna already up.

"What the fuck are you wearing...." I mutter, squinting my eyes to see she has on red skinny jeans and a green sweater, with some ugly ass reindeer on it.

"My christmas attire" she frowns, looking down at her outfit, "don't you like it?"

"Whatever you want..." I mumble, rolling back over, reclosing my eyes.

"Zach, get up" savanna whines, and I can hear her foot steps padding over to the other side of the bed.

"Get up" she demands, and I feel her shake my shoulder.

I instinctively stiffen, due to the un detected contact.

I choose to ignore it, iv been flinching and stiffening at every touch sense I was 7 years old, and it's only gotten worse.

"No" I say, it coming out muffled due to my face burried in the pillow.

"But it's christmas" she whines childishly.

"Exactly"

"So you refuse to get up because it's christmas?" And I can already see her crossing her arms.

"Yes"

"Come on" she begs, "it's christmas! The day for all to be jolly?" She states.

I snort, ya jolly.

More like I don't give two fucks about this damn holiday, hell I wish it didn't even exist.

It's not that I hate christmas, it's the fact of what happened to me, every year for 14 years on this day, December 25th.

I squeeze my eyes shut to rid the memories, I refuse to put myself threw that again.

"Zachhhh" savanna groans, pulling me back from my negative thoughts.

"Fine" I huff, pushing myself up from the comfortable position I was in, "I'm up, happy?"

"Very" she smirks, taking my hand and dragging me out of the bed.

"Now, go get dressed" she says, stopping at my closet.

Before entering the closet, I let out a yawn, rubbing my eyes afterword.

"What" I ask, shooting savanna a funny look, due to her facial expression.

"You are so fucking cute!" She shrieks, causing me to playfully roll my eyes.

God I truly do love this girl...

"Sure" I chuckle, and with that, head into the closet.

I sigh, going threw my heaps of clothes, trying to decide what is clean and what the hell isn't.

I finally decide of my usual black skinny jeans, a black falling in reverse tee, and a black and white checkered zip up, with my vans and usual black beanie.

I exit the closet, to see savanna on her phone on the couch, she looks up at me, smiles, just as I enter the bathroom.

I close the door, turning around, only to be faced with my self reflection In the mirror.

Ugly

Worthless

Pathetic

Stupid

Cunt

Whore.

That's all I see as I face my empty reflection.