Counting Stars

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Recap:

I hesitantly approach the closet and slowly push the closet door open.

I'm not prepared on any level for what I was about to see. or who.

• • •

"Zach?" I ask, my voice cracking

Zach snaps his tear stained face up instantly.

My eyes don't meet his. instead, they travel down to the blade in his left hand.

I knew he was suicidal, but it's so much more emotional actually seeing it happen rather than hearing about it.

His wide brown eyes bore into me, like he was watching my every move.

But I was too busy examining the cuts all up his arms, until they reached his elbow.

"Why?" is all I can simply ask

His bottom lip quiverd and he puts his head in his hands

He doesent speak

"Zach" I say softly, approaching him.

I don't exactly know what to do. iv never been in this situation before.

I finally kneel down beside him,  while he cries into his hands. I didn't think this boy had a vulnerable side.

His parents died right in front of him my self conscious adds

She has a point.

"Hey it's ok" I say, trying to sooth his crying

He sniffles and looks up at me with not wild eyes, but sad, lonely eyes.

"It will never be ok" he whispers

I feel like I am about to cry. this is the sadest thing I have seen in my life.

He puts his head back down and sniffles.

Iv never seen a boy cry.

"Are you okay?" I ask, but instantly regret it.

To my suprise he just shakes his head and leans back so his head is against the wall, along with his back while his legs are bent and his hands rest on his knees.

"I'll never be ok savanna" he speaks quietly. 

That's the first time he ever used my name. I simply nod, not wanting to push him to talk about anything.

He's been here for 2 days and I already am having a heart to heart with him in his closet.

We sit there for a moment, in pure silence.

"Let me see" I say rather boldly, surprising myself

He gives me a confused look that would be so cute if this weren't the situation

"What?" he asks

"Your wrist" I say softly, not wanting to trigger anything.

Zach has a blank expression on his face and I can tell he's internally battling with himself whether to let me in or not.

He sighs and holds out both his arms shamefully, staring at the ground.

I closely examine them, I may have no experience, but my moms a nurse so she can tell when cuts were done by how dry the blood is. she taught me a few things

The blood is dry and fresh. there's no doubt he has done layers.

"Come on" I say standing up, knowing better than to grab his hands.