Counting Stars

•14•

Iv come to the conclusion that I simply can't have one decent week without fighting with zach young.

Iv also come to the conclusion that this isn't my fault. I tried to help him and he decided to over react on me. I understand he's been through but that's no exuse to treat people the way he does. I understand he's angry but there's no reason to take it out on innocent people.

I'm currently sitting on my bed staring at the wall thinking. there's nothing better to do really, what go beg zach to not be mad at me for his over reactions? I don't think so.

Iv never meet some one who is as short tempered as that boy before. even if he is bi polar, he's one of a kind.

Next store I can hear zach slamming his fist into the wall, I pissed him off I get that, but he's taking this to far.

I don't know how my uncle is going to react when he sees unexpected holes in the walls. I'm not taking the blame for it either, zach can handle that.

* * *

Later that night I lay in bed feeling like shit. zach and I's fight plays threw my head repeatedly.

I wish I could stop thinking about it, it just makes me feel guilty.

Zach's been through so much. I know this makes me seem weak and not able to fend for myself, but I have a soft spot for Zach's past.

No matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to hold my anger against him, he had a right to break down, he has a right to cry, he has a reason to cut, want to commit suicide.

If I were him I would probably already be dead quiet honestly.

I'm a terrible girlfriend, we entered this relationship all to fast, for his sake, I think I should talk to him about just being friends, he's not ready to be in a full blown relationship, he won't be able to treat me right, he can't handle all of this.

I somehow am going to have to drag myself over to his room, explain this all, and come out without being completely crushed.

I'm not going to deny my strong feelings towards zach, it's not love, but I like him alot, and I don't want to ruin that, I know how fragile he is.

I don't know if I should give him space, or get this over with right now.

My thoughts are soon interrupted by the knocking on my door. who in the hell could that possibly be.

As I opened my bedroom door, a broken zach came into view. his jet hair was a mess, pointing in all different directions, his brown eyes held hearts of emotions, and he looked just broken in general.

"Can I come in?" He asks quietly, avoiding eye contact, all my current thoughts have been forgotten and I'm only focused on the broken boy in front of me.

I hesitate for a moment, but soon melt under his vulnerability and sigh, opening the door wider so he can step past me.

Zach's 5'8 figure brushes past me, slumping down on the couch. I stay by the door and inhale deeply.

This is it, he seems calm enough so I can explain my most recent thoughts, about being friends.

"Savanna, can we talk" Zach asks quietly, voice hoarse from most likely crying and screaming in the last 2 hours.

I sigh, nodding, padding across the room and taking a seat next to him on the couch, a good distance between us.

I notice a small frown crease across Zach's forehead, "savanna" he sighs "I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry, I k-know I should have even m-mentioned t-that, its..... just hard" he trials off softly, averting his gaze towards his hands.