STOP IT!... please. Draco ff

15: last time, I promise

As I walked to class there were quite a few people looking at me. Somehow it got out I was the reason those two girls were expelled and consequently people were expressing a new found interest in me. After a week, however, it was forgotten when a new drama arose.

A week before the court date. Me, Draco, Blaise, pansy, Theo and Pierre went out drinking. While I was there it was so fun, we did stupid things and chatted and gossiped about recent and past drama at school. I'm the one who had the most to learn since I wasn't in their year. Though Pierre was in my year to and new to the group so he heard most of the gossip for the first time too. But afterwards when I went back to the dorm sudden anxiety washed over me. I'm not even certain why. It was hard to distinguish a solid thought there might have been thoughts of anxiety over the calories in the alcohol. That they would've had a perfectly good time, even better time without me. That compared to everyone else in the photos, you were the ugly one out. It was possibly worsened by the anxiety of the upcoming trial of your parents. And also that Avery and Blaise were still out, which gave you no reason you're unable to cut without being caught. As the anxiety built, and the confusion at the cause of it built too, I was beginning to break down and felt an anxiety attack coming. It would be fine, it doesn't matter, just a couple, I thought as I walked into the bathroom. I searched through the drawers for a disposable razor that you could get the blade out of. Becoming more restless as you searched more clumsily you felt your breath getting harder to control. Finally you found the familiar orange razor and unhesitantly tried to rip off the hard plastic around the blade. It was too difficult however the plastic was stiff and unfalling tears clouded your vision. I used my nails to try and pry off the plastic, but it just created shards. I wrapped my hand round the whole bit and tried pulling again but it didn't work and made my hand bleed instead. Desperately I took a particularly sharp plastic shards and stabbed it into my thigh. My flesh moved down with it a little before penetrating my skin which caused a disappointing amount of pain. So instead I tried to drag it while inside my skin. This on the other hand was not disappointing and the tears finally spilled out my eyes as the pain hit me and the blood spurted out my leg. However this just made me more desperate. I clawed at the razor still on the floor in front of me and with cuts and scratches all over my hands finally got it out. I was in the routine of not wearing long sleeves with Draco anymore so I knew I had to cut on my thigh to hide my relapse. I brought down the brand new blade and ruined it as I broke the skin of my thigh and as I went over the cut again to make it deeper, stained it with my blood.

I moved my hand over the 15 odd cuts I now had smearing a think coat of blood all over my leg. And still, from 5 deeper ones, the blood seeped out carrying itself down my thigh and onto the floor. Quickly I grabbed some toilet roll and mopped up the floor then my leg. I wrapped a bandage round my thigh before getting up and scooping up all the plastic and the blade. I carried them over to my trunk, put them in a bag and hid them. I'll throw them away properly another day where Avery won't see. Then I slumped into bed and after snuggling into the pillow a little to get comfy started drifting off to sleep. 

The next morning I woke up to a loud slamming of the door and when I squinted my eyes to see was met with a hungover looking Avery with messed hair and the same clothes as last night. I presumed that her and Blaise hit a few more bars after I left and she, and possibly him too, ended up passed out on a bench somewhere. I rolled over to go back to sleep but the slight squelch and feel of something wet stopped me. A rush of anxiety made me fully awake in a second and when I slowly pulled back the cover I saw a large bloodied patch on my sheets and a completely blood saturated bandage. I peered over at Avery's bed and she already passed out again meaning not much could wake her now. With this fleeting opportunity, I stood out of bed and pulled off the duvet cover and sheets. That's when I saw the mattress too was wet with blood. Fuck. I pulled off the sheet and duvet cover hastily. Bundling the sheets together I stuffed them in a black bag and ties the top throwing it by the door. Thinking hard what to do with the mattress I spelled it smaller so it was the size of my hand. I got the bag with the razor shards in then walked out the door taking the bag with blood stained sheets in with me. I got to the giant general rubbish bins and threw the black bag and the razor bag in. I considered the mattress but threw it in all the same. Then I went to the office.