Chapter 20 p.1

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 If somebody had told me that the day we were gonna leave to have the best 3 weeks of our lives, we would have to drive to the hospital instead, I would not have believed them. But, I guess, here we are, driving towards the hospital.

Karl has been crying non-stop all the time. Nick looks on the verge of tears, but I think he tries to make himself look better to help both Karl and me. Hearing the poor guy cry breaks my heart, since he is the giggliest, and definitely most positive out of all of us. And for me, I'm just standing there, leaning against the door of the car, looking outside the window. Emotions seem to want to flood in like a river during spring, but for some reason they are blocked by something.

My body doesn't shake, my hands are not freezing, I'm just there, trying to understand the situation. The two boys are now awfully quiet, and I know that they just want to get over it as soon as possible. Will we even go on a trip anymore? I can't even tell.

All our stuff is in the back of the car, just like we were leaving, except one of the seats is empty. I turn my head to the left, just wanting everything to be a nightmare, and that he is there, next to me, smiling with his beautiful smirk, looking down as we make eye contact. His golden hair with his deep eyes, giving me a comforting hug and telling me that the flight was going to go by fast, and that I wouldn't have to worry. I smile softly, and Nick seems to notice. He gives me a look that seems to think I am going crazy.

Memories have always been my greatest source of happiness, since most of the people I love seem to end up far, far away from me. The memories of him are not enough, we were supposed to make them on our trip. I don't even really know what's going on. The boys have stayed silent the whole time. The only thing I know is that it has to be related to what he told me the other day.

We arrive at the hospital, nearly twenty minutes later, even though the car ride felt like years. None of us pronounce a word as we make our way into the lobby. Many people are running around, and it gives me a headache to see people so stressed and worried. I hate hospitals so much. I'm like half conscious, my vision being blurry and my mind not remembering some parts of what is going on. Everything fells so bland.

The only moment I really feel conscious is when the doctor stops in front of the door, Nick, Karl and the doctor looking directly at me. I don't know how to react. She doesn't say anything except she opens the door slowly. I feel a hand on my back, slowly pushing me inside. My mind is so confused, I can't even tell if it's Nick or Karl.

I look in front of me, a tall man is lying on the bed, many hospital shit plugged into him. I have barely any knowledge of the hospital world, and honestly, I would rather keep it that way. His eyes are shut, and he is just laying there, peacefully. Bandages are wrapped around the majority of his body, and smaller ones are visible on his cheeks. My heart skips a beat at the simple vision of his body laying there. He looks so lifeless, like somebody would have drained all the happiness in him. I can't help but stay there, terrified of anything.

The door closes slowly behind me, leaving me in the most confusing and painful silence. The only thing I can hear is the heavy breathing and the sound of the machines coming from the bed. I walk slowly but surely, trying to be as reassuring as possible towards the beautiful man. I take a deep breath, before sitting on the bed next to him. This simple contact doesn't wake him up just yet.

I carefully take his hand in mine, before leaning and whispering into his ear.

"Clay"

His body moves slowly, his eyes wide open. He seems scared at first, but his glare softens before making a soft smile. No words escape his mouth, but every movement seems so painful to him. He just smiles at me, staring deep into my eyes, just like he wants to talk to me with his eyes. His gentle eye contact makes me relax a little, as I can understand that the man I am speaking to is really him. I draw small patterns on his hands, just so he knows I am right here for him. He chuckles slightly at the sight.

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