Discovering the Ligon

Chapter 19 - Ava

When I first open my eyes, I'm disoriented and slowly blink a few times until I can fully see where I am. My room. Humm.... Something's different though. There's shifting behind me as someone crawls into bed and a warmth engulfs my body. Suddenly I have a bad feeling about this.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Not again.

"Ryker, I swear I'm going to murder you this time," I mumble without turning around. Morning breath is no fun.

There's an uncomfortable silence and the person behind me tenses, then slowly slides his arms away from me. What the hell? I didn't mean to piss him off. Screw morning breath. He can suck it up. I start apologizing as I turn over, "Look, I didn't real... Oh."

The light blue eyes staring back at me are filled with pain. "Do you want me to get my brother?" he asks softly. He brushes a piece of my hair out of my eyes as he looks at me like I am a fragile piece of glass that he doesn't want to break. "I understand if you want me to."

I'm uneasy about Ryan being here with me, as I would've been if it was any one of the three because of the events that happened three years ago, but I also want him here. I remember how it was him who carried me into the house and upstairs. My face starts to burn as I remember asking him to stay with me as I drifted in and out of sleep. This is partly my fault. He refused at first, but I begged him, not wanting to be alone and so tired from the shift. On the other hand, I also wish the other two were here.

The longer I take to answer the more his face closes off and that upsets me. After everything he's done for me the last few years without my knowledge, combined with the events and kiss from last night, I think I'm closer to forgiving him. No matter what, I can't see him pushing him away because I'm still a little unsure, or at least unwilling to admit, of my feelings for him.

"No. I want you here." His eyes change slightly and narrow as he studies my face as if searching for clues for the truth. Being honest is the most important because things are changing and we have to trust one another. "I do want you here," I emphasize. "I just wish the others were here too. The shift... I'm still angry and hurt but I feel closer to you now. There's this buzzing feeling of energy that's connected to you. If I didn't know you didn't have the mark, I would think we were mated already." When he doesn't answer, I cover my mouth and whisper, "And sorry for my morning breath." Real smooth Ava. Real smooth.

At first, nothing happens then he suddenly starts chuckling. "Shhh! Damn it there are others in the house." But that makes him laugh harder, so I push him over onto his back. "Ryan, damn it, shut up!"

Suddenly, he snags me around the waist and drapes me over his body. I'm not ashamed to admit I let out a girly, part sequel, part moan as my legs slide to either side of his waist. He loosely keeps his hands at the small of my back, holding me into place, so I prop my elbows onto his chest and wait him out. Ryan's face is more relaxed now that he knows I want him here.

His voice whispers softly but confidently. "First, no one is here. Susan let the staff off because she left for a few days while your dad's gone and the evil step-bitch isn't here either. Don't know where and don't care." He gives me a cocky smirk. "We're all alone, princess."

"How do you know all of this?"

He grins at me and my heart races more than it already is. By the widening of his smile, I think he knows it too. "Princess, you've been asleep for almost twelve hours. I hid when Susan tried to come into the room but I locked the door last night so she couldn't, especially since you so nicely asked me to stay. I'm smarter than my brother."

I giggle. "That's so mean to him." For fuck's sake, he has me melting with his smile. He's beautiful. So different from Ryker. Trying to distract me from how good it feels to be lying against him, I admonish him. "We were fifteen. You've had more experience with locking doors now," I challenge.

He arches an eyebrow at me. "You want to ask me something?" Damn him for his direct approach to everything.

"Maybeeeeee," I draw out.

Wrapping his arms tighter around me, he easily lifts up into a seating position with his legs stretched out and my knees on either side of them. "Ava, ask me anything. I've always wanted you. I want you to accept me like you did Ryker, even if it was years ago. Even if it means talking about things I would rather you not know." His expression crushes me. It's so determined yet on guard of what I might say or do. Completely at odds with his seemingly relaxed posture.

I huff out a breath. I will finally get to ask about his lack of discretion, but I had forgotten how much it hurt to think about. I'd buried these feelings for years. "I hated you for sleeping with all those girls and the guys." The look on his face is priceless and I almost laugh. "Yes, you like men. Remember, I am the kid the others kick when down?" His eyes are ablaze with anger but I don't stop. "I wanted to scratch their eyes out. Do you know how much that hurt me? The girls at school bragged about you and the guys bragged about your exploits with others I didn't even know about. Why do you think I started wearing headphones so much and pulled away from you on our walks?" I hadn't wanted him to touch me knowing someone else had been there before me. Then the numbers had just kept adding up.

He grimaces and tightens his hands on me as I might go somewhere. But I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for the long haul. "I didn't realize at first how much would get back to you. I didn't want any of it too. Maybe at first because I was pissed and hurt. Except I hated myself for feeling that way. Ryker left you, and I know the reasons now, but back then I was angry you seemed to miss him and forgot about us."

I interrupt, getting angry at him for blaming me. "Now wait a minute. You left me a long time ago! The other two knew why but you didn't confess it to me, the person you actually hurt. What was I supposed to think? The love of my life – don't look so sad, let me finish."

Damn, he's tugging on my emotions. To make him get it, to understand, I lean up from where I had unconsciously moved to be closer. It pushes me onto his cock, which momentarily distracts us both, but this is important and I refuse to think about how deliciously hard it is against me. Mostly.

Reaching towards him, I grab his face in my hands. "Let me rephrase. One of the loves of my life left me without explanation." His eyes widen with that confession, but I keep going. "The other left me after a night of sweetness then pretended to start something with the Ice Queen. Then the other love of my life fucking abandoned me to the wolves. What was I supposed to think or do? Y'all were my best friends for ten years then nothing!" I feel hollow, almost as if it all happened yesterday.

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me back to his chest. I try to lift my head, but he doesn't let me. "No, stay there. I'm afraid of your answer to my question." Damn, the boy is dense but if he needs to say something I won't stop him. "You're right, Ava. We did abandon you. We hurt you with our actions. With our words. I can only tell you how deeply sorry I am to be so stupid to hurt the best thing in my life." He takes a deep breath and holds it for a minute before asking, "Can you forgive me?"

I tap his arm to let me and try to convey with my look how much he means to me before I do something I've wanted to do again since last night. With as much emotion as I can, I kiss him with all that I have and feel hoping that he knows how much I forgive him and accept him. Hoping that it will lead to something more. Maybe even my mark on him.