Not My Lyra

Chapter five

"Lyra I'm about to tell you a story about your mother. Please don't say anything until I'm finished"

"When you were born your mother wanted you so bad, but she wasn't in the right situation. She was a married woman, your father Asriel swept her away, gave her the life she truly wished she had. But only hours after you were born she decided that your life would be better if she wasn't in it. She told Asriel to take you away before her husband got home. Moments later she regretted her decision and tried to go after you both but couldn't as she was too weak. She lied to her husband and said their child died and that's the reason she was sad, but the real reason was you. Asriel killed her husband to protect you as he came to kill you when he found out the truth. It took her months to get over it all. She eventually got her life back together and figured she could try and get you back. When you were taken away from your father, you were put in a nunnery. Your mother hired people to look into trying to get you back then the great flood happened and you somehow found your way back to your father who then took you to Jordan college....."

"Oh so that's how I got there, I was always told my father was a scholar and when my parents died Asriel thought it would be best to leave me there"

"No...... Asriel took you there for a few reasons, one was to keep you away from your mother. Anyway she never gave up trying to get you back into her life. Every time she tried to see the master he rejected her visit till one day he allowed her to come. That one visit she tried to find you but the master made sure he hid you well. On her way back to her airship she heard you running away from one of the lady maids and you ran straight into her. You would off been seven or eight. The other time she came for you was a few months ago and to her surprise the master let her see you and take you home. Her life finally felt complete but she was still new to all this mother stuff and did several things that she regrets, like when you ran away"

Lyra's eyes grow big and a shocked look comes across her face.

"So what you are saying.......... is ........... you......... are.......... my mother?"

"Yes Lyra, I am your mother, and what I just told you is the truth. I wanted you from the moment you were made, born and now. I was stupid to think your life would be better if I wasn't in it. Being a mother was a new thing to me and I thought I wasn't made out to be one. I want to be a mother to you now...... if you let me"

Lyra stands up and starts walking around the terrace. Her hands going on both sides of her face.

"I remember that day. How did I not realise it was you? I remember running away from Mrs Lonsdale as she wanted me to go to my lessons and then I ran into you. Why now that you want to be my mother? You had all my life to be one and you chose to be one now. No I can't do this"

Marisa gets up and walks back into the flat and went straight to her study. She comes back with a box full of letters.

"This is for you. I wrote to you everyday, I even sent some but the master returned them back to me so I decided to just write to you and put them in this box and hopefully could give them to you one day. This box was something your father gave me before you were born"

Lyra's goes through the box. There were hundreds of letters and a few birthday cards. Lyra pulls out the first letter that grabbed her attention, it had return stamps all over it from Jordan college.

Dear Lyra,

Today marks two years since your father took you. I think of you everyday. The other day was your second birthday, every year I do something for you on your birthday. I still get sad on those days, but I have to get on and not always feel sad. I'm still trying to get you back.

Mother

Lyra shuts the box as she figured all the letters would be pretty much the same. She looks at Mrs. Coulter with sad eyes and walks straight to her room.

"Lyra?"

"I need to be alone right now"

"Lyra"

Marisa puts her hand out to try and catch Lyra's hand but Lyra moves hers out of the way. Lyra shuts her door and lays face done onto her bed.

"Why now Pan? Why now does she want to be my mother? Like when I first met her I wished she was my mum but now I don't know what to think, especially now knowing what she really is. Like is she going to send me north to have you cut away from me? Cos if she does we are running away as I could never live without Pan"

Marisa walks up to Lyra's door about to knock till she heard Lyra talking about running away. Full off regret Marisa walks away and sits back outside on the terrace. She thought she'd give Lyra some space after the big news she gave her.

Hours passed and Marisa was still out on the terrace. She was looking through all the letters and cards she had written to Lyra over the years. A few tears ran down her face, she heard someone so she quickly wiped them away.

"I want to stay........ here......... with you Mrs. Coulter"

"You do? Oh you have no idea how happy I am. You do know I never meant you any harm right? With the last incidents"

"That's the thing, I will happily stay here but if you hurt me like you have done in the past I'm gone and you'll never see me again"

Marisa looks at Lyra with a sad look as she knows what she did was wrong and there were other ways to punish her daughter.

"I'm sorry"

For the first time in Marisa Coulters life that was the first time she's ever said "I'm sorry" and meant every bit of it.

A awkward silence fell upon both mother and daughter and Marisa finally came out with it.

"Is it ok if I hug you? Like a mother hugs her child? It's ok if it's too awkward for you now"

Lyra let out a loud sigh. Deep down this was something she'd wanted all her life, a mother she could run up to and hug and tell her about her day.

"I'd like that"

"You would?"

Marisa started to make her way to Lyra with both arms out and before she could do anything Lyra ran straight into her mothers arms. This was something both mother and daughter wanted. This was the second best day off Marisa Coulters life, the birth of Lyra was her first. For once in her life Marisa Coulter was finally happy and she enjoyed every moment of this new feeling that was going through her body