Not My Lyra

Chapter 11

Marisa was pacing around her bedroom wondering how her visit to the Magisterium will go. It was a beautiful sunny day in London and Marisa wasn't going to let that get to her. She hadn't told Lyra that she had to go to the Magisterium building to see out her possible punishment for what happened at the station.

Marisa walks out of her room to an empty lounge room. Looking at the time it was half past seven and Lyra is usually awake at that time.

"Maybe she's in the kitchen, I haven't woken her up for breakfast yet"

As Marisa was walking to the kitchen she noticed Lyra's door was opened, she peaked inside to see no Lyra. Out of the corner of her eye she saw movement out on the terrace, she had a feeling it could be Lyra. Quietly stepping towards the door, Marisa noticed Lyra pacing back and forth talking to Pan. Not wanting to disturb her but wanting to know what's on her daughters mind, Marisa opens the door to check on Lyra.

"Are you ok Lyra?"

Lyra got startled by her mother. She quickly turns around and faces Marisa.

"I'm fine...... I guess. Just worried...... about you know the Magisterium"

Marisa's heart sunk, she thought the day she got her daughter back, she'd never have to go through this, seeing her daughter broken and she knows it's her fault. One thought that kept crossing her mind was if she never went to Jordan college Lyra would still be safe and not damaged by Marisa's job.

"It's ok darling, I'm here if you need to talk to someone else. I want to be there for you Lyra, but I can't if you keep pushing me away"

Lyra lets out a big sigh, she realises she can talk to her mother, but she just doesn't want to open up just yet. Lyra knows she's broken, but that isn't going to stop her from getting on with her life. Lyra is almost fourteen, there are other things to worry about.

"Thanks mother, but I think I'll just go to my room and probably read or something"

All Marisa wants to do is hug her child and tell her everything will get better, but as soon as Marisa moves an inch towards Lyra, Lyra moves an inch back. Lyra starts to walk past and Marisa sticks her hand out.

"Lyra wait. I have to go out for a few hours. Will you be all right on your own? The staff know and will be here for you if you need anything. Ok?"

The anxiety started coming up in Lyra. Her mother has never left her alone since returning to London. A panic look comes across Lyra's face. Lyra likes to admit she's fine and doesn't need her mother, but she never wanted to be alone without her.

"Where.... where are you going and for how long for? Can't I come with you?"

"No you can't come with me this time, but I'll be home sooner than you think"

Marisa couldn't bare to tell Lyra the truth as she didn't need Lyra to freak out even more. Marisa places a kiss on Lyra's forehead and walks back inside towards the elevator. As soon as Marisa walked into the elevator, she saw Lyra running towards it screaming not to leave her. She thought leaving her daughter for the first time since coming home broke her heart, it's now the image of her only child running toward the closing doors off the elevator screaming for her mother not to leave.

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Lyra sat at the elevator doors screaming and banging on them begging for her mother to return. The staff that were on grew concern for Lyra and tried to comfort her.

"Lyra? Why don't you come with me and you can help me prepare the food for dinner"

Lyra screamed as one of the staff members walked closer to her. They knew to give her space and not force her to do anything that upsets her. There was one staff member Lyra was rather fond off, but she wasn't in that day.

"Pan, what am I going to do while she's gone. Is this what mother felt like when Asriel took me away when I was born? I think I need to do something to help pass time"

Lyra got herself up and wondered down the hall to her room.

Lyra noticed a pile of books on her bed, some were physics books and the others were books on the north. Lyra didn't care about the other books as it's her dream to one day travel north and explore it like her parents did before she was born. A knock on the door startled Lyra.

"Mother?"

It wasn't Marisa but Olivia Lyra's friend and favourite servant.

"Is it ok to come in? I know it's my day off, but I thought I'd come over to see how you were going. The other day you weren't so good and I've been worried"

Lyra was super excited and basically jumped into Olivias arms and started to cry.

"I'm so happy you came. Mother had to go out and I didn't want to be alone and it's not the same when you aren't here"

Olivia pulls Lyra in for a hug. Lyra is basically the daughter she wished she had. Olivia adores Lyra and Lyra adores Olivia.

"I grabbed some ice cream on my way over, you wanna have some and we can sit on the terrace and eat it. It's such a beautiful day today, it'll be a shame to waste it being stuck inside"

Lyra just nodded and basically ran to the terrace. Olivia brings out the big tub of ice cream and two bowls. She puts a few scoops in her bowl and lots in Lyra's.

"I know your mother won't agree on this, so it will be our little secret"

Lyra just nods and drugs right into her ice cream.

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As Marisa was going down the elevator she could hear Lyra screaming out for her and it was making things worse.

Marisa finally arrives at the Magisterium building. Looking up at the intimidating statues and guards, Marisa was fretting.

Father William greets Marisa at the front entrance.

"Took your time, Mrs. Coulter. The cardinal has been waiting for you"

Marisa just rolls her eyes and keeps on walking with father William.

"So.... will this take long? I have places to be and things to do"

William just stares at Marisa. She could tell he didn't want to be there as much as she did.

"In here. The cardinal won't be long"

Twenty minutes past and the golden monkey was starting to get nervous and started to  cling to his human. Marisa wasn't impressed as she was trying to hide how nervous she was and her dæmon was making it so obvious.

The door opens and the cardinal walks in with his head held high and not far behind him was father MacPhail. Seeing these two in the same room meant bad news.

"Ah thank you for coming in Marisa. Now the news of the building in Bolvanger being burnt down has now alerted people and thanks to Asriel, we have to change tactics. Because of your careless act, we now have to build a new station somewhere else where hopefully no one will find it. It is up to you to find this new place and you are set to leave Immediately. You will report any findings to father MacPhail. Is that clear?"

This was not what Marisa was expecting. She was expecting to be told to leave the church, but this, she can't leave Lyra let alone tell her.

"I'm sorry cardinal but I can't do this. This has made a huge impact on my life and my child's life. I nearly lost her because off father MacPhail practically barging into my home and kidnapping my daughter. The answer is no, I won't do this, not again. I'll do anything else but not this"

"The cardinal has given you orders Marisa. You must obey them or you'll be shunned from society like when you had your daughter the sinful way"

Marisa was stuck in a hard place. She didn't want to go back and cut children's dæmons away, but she also wanted to know more about dust. She doesn't want to lose Lyra as she knows she will if she finds out about all this. 

"What am I going to tell Lyra? Bad enough she can't bare to see me leave her. I'll probably lose her forever if she finds out"

Marisa walks out off the room and heads back to her car to take her home. This is going to be harder for Marisa as she wanted to stop the lies and start telling the truth when it came to Lyra and their mother daughter relationship.