𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 , jacob barber

- #16 [You Like Him] -

"one day i just wanna hear you say:

'i like you'

what's stopping you?"

BREAK IT OFF

BY

PINKPANTHERESS

[Jacob's POV]

I heard crying coming from Y/N's room and I went to check on her. She had her back facing towards me but her body was shaking with sobs. I felt so bad for her.

I'm such a bad person, I chased around her whole goddamn neighbourhood for fucks sake!

My parents told me that I have bipolar disorder. I looked it up and it says that people with it usually have extreme mood swings and episodes.

I've only ever had 2 episodes in my life but the mood swings are daily. That's what happened.

Sometimes it feels like I'm not the one controlling myself. It feels like my brains working but someone else is behind the wheel.

I found myself just standing there, staring at her. I had such an urge to hold her hand. But I didn't.

I walked back to my room and lay down on my bed.
I couldn't sleep so I opened my phone to my Instagram page and stared at the photo I had posted of Sarah and Y/N.

I just stared at the photo for a while. I don't think Y/N realises that I wish she loved me like she loves Sarah. I wish I was in Sarah's position. I wish that Y/N loved me.

It's not fair! I'm trying to be a good person! It's not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair, not fair.

NOT FAIR!

My chest was rising and falling quickly now so I calmed myself down and too one more glance at the photo before deleting it.

I should never have posted the photo.

I should never have taken it.

I should never have-

My door creaked open and small thumps made their way into my room. I quickly shut off my phone and shoved it under my pillow and closed my eyes, pretending to sleep.

There was a sniffle and then that sniffle became a sob and before I knew it the sobbing was silent screams of pain.

I shot up and looked around. There stood Y/N, hair knotted, eyes bloodshot with tears.

My heart thumped and threatened to jump out my chest. I quickly shuffled over and gestured for Y/N to come lie with me.

She slowly made her way over my bed and lay down, face to face with me.

I stared at her as she closed her eyes, a tear that was hanging onto her eyelash gave in and rolled down her red cheeks - which were puffy from her crying.

She snuggled her face into my chest and wrapped one arm around my side. I hugged her back and pulled her closed to me.

I gasped deeply at the feeling of her breath hitting my skin. It made me shiver.

My head told me to do something, so my body agreed.

I silently kissed the top of her head, I felt her react to it. Her body fell and relaxed with ease.

I smiled to myself and hugged her back, enjoying the moment.

TW - ED

[Y/N's POV - 1st Person]

I woke up early in the morning, still in an intense hug with Jacob. I slowly removed myself from the physical situation and made my way downstairs.

I passed a clock that informed me it was 5:36am.

I would usually go back to bed but I didn't feel like sleeping, especially by myself, not after laying with Jacob. I slowly walked into the kitchen, the cold floorboards making contact with my feet. I opened the fridge and a glow of light leaked out. I took some contents out and got an idea of something I would make.

- t i m e s k i p -

I had finished and the smell of pancakes coated the kitchen like a blanket. Suddenly, a horrible feeling arrived in my lower stomach. It felt like someone had punched me square in my abdomen.

I quickly ran over to the sink and threw up the small contents I had eaten last night. I couldn't even smell food without feeling sick. This was a reoccurring event.

I hadn't always had a bad relationship with food but when my mother died, this is how I coped. It seems stupid I know but I lost love with things I found easy to do, like eating. Eating used to never bother me but now I see lots of people with lovely bodies and it makes me feel bad inside.

I do this horrible thing to myself where I'll tell people to love themselves but in reality, I hate myself too. I tell large people to express and love themselves and anorexic people that they have strength to eat but I can't say it to myself.

"Fuck..." I cough out. I filled a glass with water a downed it in one. Someone behind me cleared their throat. I spun around to meet eye contact with Andy.

"Something smells good!" He announced. I replied with a nod of the head and a smile. He sat down at one of the plates and took his phone out his trouser pocket. The silence was getting awkward and I was desperate to break it.

"So, um, working early today?" I coughed slightly.

"No actually", he said looking up from his phone. "Another court meeting, you know."

I silently nodded my head in response.

Soon enough Laurie and Jacob arrived for breakfast. Jacob seemed to be in a light-hearted mood since he returned my smile each time.

"You not eating darling?" Laurie asked politely. My heart thumped loudly and I swear they could hear it.

"No, I um already ate." I choked out, putting on a grin to mask my bad lying skills. Jacob looked at me weird but continued to eat, Laurie did the same.

My tutor came just as the Barber's left. I waved them goodbye before starting on my History work.

"I know you like him." My tutor spoke. I shrugged, not wanting to lie again. My tutor raised one eyebrow but dropped it and she began to speak shit about archaeologists.

I stared at the paper not really listening to her, more interested by the black dots that covered up my vision.

The last thing I remember is slumping backwards off the stool and hitting the cool floor.

A/N: I fucking hate this 'cause I based it off true events in my life but whatever.