Residues

Chapter 7

"What do you plan on doing on New Year's Eve?"

"Stay home. Maybe I will order something nice to eat." I think. "You?"

"Can I come over to eat that something nice?" He asks. I laugh.

On New Year's eve, we sat on the floor drinking wine and watching a lame-ass Christmas movie. There comes a kiss scene in it. I sighed involuntarily.

Rihan looked at me. And I see a curious look on his face. "What?" I asked.

"Can I ask a personal question?" He asked.

"Well, you asked if you can ask a personal question. Now if you do not ask that, I will be forever curious what that personal question was. So, Ask away."

"Why are you single. I mean... not everybody has to be with someone. But you have always been single, and you do not seem interested even. I know Suhani tried to fix you up with someone and you refused."

I switched off the movie. This topic needs more concentration.

"I did not become single because I wanted to be single." I said, "Things turned out this way."

"But you refuse people."

"When did I?"

"Back in college. I clearly remember that Shyam asked you out."

"Ah...." I remember that. "Back then..." I was not sure if I can say this out loud. "I liked someone else at that time. Like a crush."

"Oh..." He says. He did not ask 'who'. He did not pry. Vishwa certainly and Suhani may have asked more. But I knew that Rihan won't. And that's why I trusted him.

"Then why did you refuse when Suhani tried to fix you up?"

I stayed silent.

I trusted Rihan – I reminded myself. And after 7 years of pain, I needed a friend to tell this secret to.

"Because," I said softly. "Because that someone, the someone I had a crush on... died."

January 6th is Vishwa's birthday. He invited us to his house for a party. A few of his office friends were there. And his new girlfriend - Vainavi. Vainavi was sweet and easy to get along with.

Suhani was not invited to the party. It felt really odd to have left her out. Each year, I arrive single and Rihan and Suhani will come together; Suhani's hand linked through Rihan's elbow; carrying a combined gift. They were always a set.

This year I walked in with Rihan and the first thing Vishwa said was that it feels freaking weird. I know...

In the middle of the party, Vainavi picked up a framed photo of all of us college friends from the shelf. Vishwa moved to her. "You look so young here." She laughed at Vishwa. He was embarrassed.

"So, this is Rihan. So, this must be Suhani coz the other girl is Ishi. Who is this?" She pointed out.

"Oh..." Vishwa's face went gloom.

Rihan moved closer to me.

"That's Yash," Vishwa said.

"Oh... The one who died..." Vainavi says.

Chapter 7.5

Ishi is silent on the drive back home.

She stays silent. I stay silent

But there is a harmony in this silence

There is peace in this silence