Residues

Chapter 23

"Shall I move in here with you?" Rihan asked, tracing a line on my arm. "I am here always anyway." We were on my bed.

I wanted him here always. But moving in... I could not not think about Suhani. What we would be doing to her. "Not yet," I told Rihan.

"Okay, not yet then," He ruffled my hair. He was not pushy about anything. He kept moving his fingers through my hair. It felt so good.

"Rihan..."

"Hm..."

"If we break up...can we still be friends?"

He looked at me.

"Please," I added. "I did not want to lose you entirely... Like Yash. I can't even see him or talk to him....coz he is dead." I looked down. "But...when we break up, I mean if we break up... I don't want things to be bad. I would still want to be friends with you."

I saw his eyes narrow... "We don't need to talk about this since we are not breaking up."

At least for now.

"If..." I said.

He turned around staring at the glow in the dark stars. "If... then... I don't know."

"Why? You said you can be friends with Suhani." I moved closer.

"You are different. I feel I cannot be friends with you if we...split up." Because I am less important?? Because I am not Suhani? And I felt like crying. And I did not want to show my tears to him. So I pushed him away. "You go home."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. Just go." I sat up.

"Okay." He got up.

Yeah. He will just go.  He does not push against boundaries. He listens. So as he got out of the bed, I held on to his fingers. Rihan looked at me. I could not hold back tears anymore. And one tear streaked down my cheek. I looked up at him.

He dropped down and hugged me at once. "Hey..." he called. "I am not leaving you... Okay. I won't."

Yeah.

But sometimes life does not give you a choice. Yash did not have a choice.

I put my hands around Rihan and kept trying to hold back my tears. Stupid tears. He patiently held me. After a while, I backed off.

"You know... for 13 years, I did not know you become a child when you cry..." he dried my tears. "Didn't really know you for 13 years. Isn't that strange?"

I nodded. I didn't really know him so well for 13 years either.

"Can I kiss you now?" he asked with a smile.

I smiled and nodded.

"How about a session of sex?" He asked naughtily.

I laughed and nodded and took off my t-shirt. He took off his t-shirt and we fell back to the bed laughing, Rihan on top of me. I giggled and laughed as he planted kisses all over my face.

Chapter 23.5

The next few weeks were happy and peaceful

There were sweet long kisses

I lay on Ishu's lap and talked for hours

We watched movies together

We went for walks together

And the sex was so good.

Honestly, better than what it was with Suhani

So, I began to wonder if that's why Suhani...

And it began to bother me.