Our journey

Honey

Jack's POV
When the shift is almost over I decide to go to Gibbs to ask if he wants to come with us, although I still think that is useless, it's not that if I ask him to come he magically accepts the invitation, it doesn't work like this but, apparently, Nick thinks that it goes in that way, that's so stupid. As I walk out of my office I see Gibbs coming in my direction but he completely ignores me, what did I do now? He then comes back to me and moves me a little, he enters my office, so now he enters my office after seeing me in front of it, did he suddenly became blind? I go back in my office and, as I enter, he looks in my direction but not at me. I look at him for a few seconds and that's all I need to understand that something is wrong and I'm pretty sure about it, for me, he's like an open book, I walk to him and gently run my hand through his hair, somehow it seems like the wall, the door or whatever he's looking at, that is behind me, is better than looking at me.
With big surprise I finally hear some words coming out from his mouth but that wasn't what I was expecting to hear "You're confusing me" he says, what does he mean by that? I look at him a bit surprised "Why?" I ask him hoping to receive an answer but as I ask him that, he walks out of the office, I don't move, I'm still trying to understand what he meant by that, right now the one that is confusing someone in here is him. I start pacing my office and a million thoughts come up to my mind, what if he thinks that I want to replace Shannon? I know that she'll always have a place in Gibbs' heart and I don’t want to replace her but, even if I wanted, I’m aware that I’m not up to it. I can never get to her same level and I don’t want to get there.
I keep pacing my office...one minute...two...ten...I'm wasting my time, he's the man I love, everything I want and need and I'm letting him go like this when I know that there's something wrong. This time I can't use the excuse that he needs time alone to think because he clearly needs help even though he didn't ask for it and when I'll ask him if something is wrong he'll surely answer that he's fine, right, he's always fine how could someone even think for a second that he isn't fine? That's annoying in certain situations, I mean, he could be on the point of dying and he would keep saying that he's fine.
I finally head to the bullpen with many questions that don't leave my mind, as I arrive there, I notice that Gibbs isn't at his desk so I go to McGee, Ellie and Nick who are talking, I don't really pay attention about what they were saying but I understand from Nick's little smile that they were probably talking about me and Gibbs, apparently they don't have a better topic "Where's Gibbs?" I ask nervously "He left a couple of minutes ago, why?" McGee answers and asks back, I don't answer, I don't have time to answer so I head to the parking lot and get in my car.
After a while I arrive at Gibbs' place and I park the car on the side of the road, am I doing the right thing? What if he doesn't want to see me? I feel like if this is the only right thing to do, well...this time I want all this to end in a good way, I shouldn't get my hopes too high but it's what I'm actually doing. As I get out of the car, my phone starts ringing, I don't look who's calling but I'm pretty sure that it's Nick, he wants to know if Gibbs will come, I think that nor Gibbs nor I will go. I take a deep breathe and go to the door, I stay out for a few minutes and then I go in. I go in the living room and he's laying on the couch with a blanket completely covering him, I went near him and slowly moved the blanket away from his head, he turned his head and looked at me. I don't know why but in that moment I thought that he was cute, with his hair a bit messed up and the way he looked at me...
"Hey cowboy" I said, he kept looking at me without replying, well...staring at me is his favorite hobby, he could do it for hours. I caress his cheek "Are you ok?" I ask in a soft voice but he keeps staring at me and then I finally ask it "Why I'm confusing you?" I ask but it seems like if I'm talking with a wall, he doesn't reply and keeps staring at me "Honey, what's wrong?" I ask...wait...how did I just call him?! I'm so stupid but seriously...
After what I said he sits up straight and keeps looking at me...what an embarrassing situation.

Gibbs' POV
After what she said, Jack blushes. Suddenly all my thoughts disappear and the most stupid question comes up to my mind...do we have a relationship and I didn't know about it? I keep looking at her, maybe this isn't really helpful but I'm so confused in this moment and I'll probably end up saying stupid things. Without even realizing it, I ask her that question "Do we have a relationship and I didn't know about it?" I ask and keep looking at her. What the hell is wrong with my brain?! She looks around and then back at me, I probably made the situation even more awkward...
"Ehm...maybe" she answered after a few minutes, what? Maybe...probably there's something wrong also in her brain "So, Jacqueline Sloane, you're telling me that maybe we have a relationship and we still didn't give each other our first kiss uh?" I ask her, what did I just say? Jeez, I'm an idiot, I'm not even drunk and I can't use it as an excuse to justify all the stupid things that I'm saying, she chuckles slightly and I get closer to her, I have no idea of what I'm doing but it seems the only thing that I want to do well...mostly that I'm able to do. It happens, I finally kiss her.
Everything feels so right and perfect, I guess that now we're actually together although, this is a weird way to become a couple and for sure we won't forget it. I think that if she didn't call me honey and if I didn't ask her that thing...the kiss wouldn't have happened...
I'm actually happy of this and everything around me suddenly disappears and now there's just that kiss in my mind and...it's so good. The only one I can see is Jack...I really have eyes just for her.
I stare at Jack again, she smiles slightly while holding my hand, she says something but I don't really pay attention at it and I kiss her again. Suddenly rule 12 comes up to my mind and I realize that I just break it...the truth is that I don't care, that rule was just for me...because I was scared of loving again and suffer...but now...now it's time to be happy, to let myself love again and to let someone into my heart, someone with who I can feel free to show every part of me and that someone...that someone is Jack...
After all Shannon and Kelly probably want to see me being happy and keep enjoying my life...move on even though it's still difficult...and it'll always be but this doesn't mean that I can't start building something else with someone else...
Jack made me feel something that I haven't felt for years and I don't even know how to describe it...it's just something so beautiful.