Our journey

Talk to me

Jack's POV

Slowly I open my eyes and see Jethro lying on the side looking at me with a small smile on his face, we came back in the room a couple of hours ago since I needed to rest a while in bed and I slept for most of the time.
I change position so I can sit and take Jethro's hands "Honey..." I say in a soft tone of voice, he sits up and looks at me "How did you feel when all that happened?..." I ask and caress his cheek "Can we talk about this another time?..." he asks back hoping that for the millionth time I'll accept that thing waiting for him to decide to talk about it "Jethro no, you need to talk about it...you can't continue to keep all inside and you know it so well...I know that it isn't easy but please...please just try...I'm here for you" I say and keep caressing his cheek but still he doesn't talk and just looks away "Honey please..." I say, he looks at me and then lays down in front of my baby bump "It had been hard...really hard..." he says and looks up at me, I look back while running my hand through his hair and waiting that he tells me more about it "I came home that day and found Lucy laying on the floor with a wound...I didn't find you and in that moment I was already freaking out...then I went to work and received the call, it was on speaker so everyone heard the gunshot...everyone told me that you were dead and that it was useless to keep looking for you but I didn't want to believe that that was real...it was like living a nightmare...again and I wasn't ready for that...I didn't want to lose also you two..." he says but suddenly stops talking and just looks at my baby bump, I keep looking at him and there’s a rather melancholy air in the room, I can’t understand how much he suffered...I wish he’d tell me more but it’s already a lot that I managed to get such a long answer.

I receive a message and take my phone, it's my mom...not a good timing and I think that I'll just ignore her message, I still have to tell her about Jethro and the pregnancy...she will probably throw me out of the window when I'll tell her about this after months of not even calling her but yeah, I've been busy so I'm justified and I can't send her a message and tell her like "Oh hey mom I have a boyfriend and I'm pregnant, also I'm almost at the end of the pregnancy and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about all this but when I actually wanted to tell you, a man kidnapped me and he wanted to kill me  and the baby, ya know normal stuff of everyday" if I send her this as a message she'll probably worry about me and come to Washington D.C. in less than three seconds so for now is better that Jethro and I keep trying to get through all this...I want him to be actually fine when he'll meet my parents since they can be quite intrusive people but I can't keep hiding all this from them...

Jethro looks up at me "Hey love, you ok?" he asks and sits up "Uhm...yeah just overthinking" I say and kiss him on the forehead "Can you ehm...tell me more about what we were talking before?..." I ask and take his hands in mine "Can I ehm...start again...? Guess that you want all the complete thing..." he says and looks at me "Sure...the important thing is that you talk..." I answer "When I came home that day it was quite traumatic but I already felt that there was something wrong since you had not called me every hour as usual...I went in that I was already slightly panicked but I was still trying to stay calm...I kept telling myself that maybe you had fallen asleep and that that was why you didn’t call me but when I went in and saw Lucy lying on the floor with a gunshot wound, I felt like the world was falling on me,
but I still had to try to stay calm so I took Lucy to the vet and went back to work, when I got there and went in the bullpen I was so in panic that my hand were trembling and after a few seconds Ellie put the phone near me on speaker and after what the mand said I heard the sound of the gunshot...I was so angry mostly because I wasn't there to protect you...both of you...everyone kept saying that you were dead but a part of me kept believing that you were alive...maybe because I didn’t want what happened years ago to happen again...it seemed like a nightmare...one of the worst...it was very difficult, I couldn’t sleep at night, I was devastated and I spent most of my time in baby Gibbs' room...honestly I didn’t know what to do, how to behave, I didn’t know if you were alive and, if you were, I didn’t know where to find you and that was even worse...
And when I read the little letter that he left to me where he said that I had you really close to me but I didn't notice you and that I didn't care about you and the baby and all the other stuff that really killed me. When he called and told me where to find you it was a great relief to know that you were actually still alive and that there was still a chance to save both of you..." he says and looks down trying to hold back the tears, I hug him and rub my hand on his back "We're still here just because you kept believing that we were still alive" I say and kiss him on the cheek "Our baby is so lucky to have you as his dad" I add and keep hugging him, it had been so hard for him and hard for me too...I still have to talk with the wife of the marine that died trying to save me...but I still didn't find the courage to go to her...I have no idea of how she will react...but I really want to go to her..."Jack..." Jethro says and I look at him "What...?" I ask "Thank you" he says and I look at him with a kinda confused look on my face "For what?..." I ask "Everything" he says and kisses me.

If you want leave in the comments your thoughts about this chapter, I would really appreciate it.