To Die For (Levi x OC)

Twenty Two: The Mind and Body Wanders

Dani

Someone shifted on the bed behind me, stirring me awake suddenly. The world was blurry when I first opened my eyes, but it cleared with every blink. As my mind swam back into consciousness, so did the pain in my body. My body hurt so badly that I couldn't move, holding my breath as I hoped the pain would pass in waves. Unfortunately, it didn't, it remained.

Letting out a cry of discomfort, I had completely forgotten about the person behind me, who seemed to wake now that I was making noise.

"Dani? Are you alright?" The voice belonged to Levi, his deep tone soothing me as I took comfort in the fact that he had stayed the night with me.

Forcing myself to move, I writhed onto my back, panting as the ache in my body turned into an all-over tremble. Levi propped himself up beside me, looking into my face and recognizing the expression on my face. Sliding his hand under my back, he lifted my body up and allowed me to rest against his torso. I watched as he reached over to my bedside table and grabbed my pain pills, dropping two of the little white tablets into his hand before handing them to me.

Taking them slowly, I shakily dropped them on my tongue and swallowed them without water as Levi rubbed my arm and shoulder as a show of comfort.

"Those should kick in soon." He tried to soothe me.

I nodded and slowly lowered myself onto my back again, my eyes staying on the ceiling.

"Are you still upset like you were last night?" He asked.

I took a deep breath, wanting to answer but feeling the knot grow in the back of my throat as the events of yesterday flooded back. Quickly, I covered my face with my hands, trying hard to swallow the tears and move on like I normally would.

Suddenly, there was a soft kiss placed on my cheek and I dropped my hands so I could meet Levi's gaze.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Averting my gaze, my eyes found the ceiling again as I tried to shove my emotion down. "I think someone extinguished the sun." Was my only reply.

He sighed, brushing my hair from my face. "The sun is still there. I promise."

He knew what I was referencing without having to ask. I had confided in him so long ago now, that it was a miracle he could remember what I was talking about. Usually when things became bleak, I would reflect on my mother's words about the dark not lasting forever. But after so much loss, so much pain, and so much loneliness, it really was beginning to feel like it was simply not true. I believed that death awaited me before a sunrise did.

"I know it's hard to not focus on all the bad," Levi cut into my thoughts, "but it's worth acknowledging that you made it farther than a lot of people did. You were a survivor. You were strong enough to do that."

"Then why do I feel guilty?" My eyes met his as he tried to find a reply.

"You're not to blame for living through things that killed other people."

"The thing is, Levi, is that I don't think I was meant to survive. There was nothing I did that saved me. No special power, no quick thinking, nothing that makes me special. It's a repetitive streak of sheer dumb luck. Why do I get lucky so many times over while everyone else around me dies? What makes me so special?"

Levi used his index finger to tilt my chin up, making me look at him. "Dani, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me, the person who spent five years training and molding you into the soldier you are today, that you're not special or worthy of surviving. I think that you made it this far because you were trained by me. Luck has nothing to do with it."