𝔠𝖺𝗋𝗆𝖾𝗇 - 𝐠𝗶𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝐰𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗹𝗲𝘆

nineteen.

MY DORMITORY

I laid, sprawled out on my bed thinking of what just happened. First, Ginny and I are on good terms? Second, we fooled around in the woods? And third, she's back with Dean! Why would she be with him and not me?
Does this mean they're going to be shagging? I haven't even got the chance to with her yet (although Draco brags that I did). I'm pretty sure Ginny had her first time with Dean. Gross!
I was thinking very deep, and complex thoughts (of course) until I heard a knock at my door. I didn't want to get out of bed.
"What!" I yelled, lazily. It wasn't Draco at the door because he would've yelled back, and the person who was there just opened it. They walked in and it was no other than Ginny. Of course it was Ginny! Hoorah! "What?" I said again, groaning and rolling over so I don't have to face her, burying my face in a pillow. She closed the door and said nothing. Moments later I felt her sit on the end of my bed, I wanted to yell for her to get off but me, being as amazing as I am, didn't yell, I didn't say a word.
"You're upset about Dean and I." She said slowly and carefully, her voice was like silk and I wanted to listen to her talk forever, I would, but not if she's talking about her boyfriend.
"You might want to go pee or you'll get an infection." I said very matter-of-factly, although it was a joke and I was deflecting, I thought it was a good joke, to remind her who she was with this afternoon and what we did. I don't want to talk about my jealousy! Whatever.
"Carmen-" She muttered, laying down next to me, I still laid in the opposite direction. I felt her arms wrap around me and she pulled me close. I held in the urge to scoff or make a comment that she should go do this with Dean. "No one will suspect we're still seeing each other if I'm with Dean." She explained, her voice low. She then proceeded to nip at my ear and kiss down my jaw and neck. I'll be honest, I did like that she was taking initiative to spark something but this was bad timing, honestly.
"Go shag him, dunno why you're here if you have Dean to be with." I stated, pulling my knees up to my chest so I now laid much smaller. I didn't bother keeping my jealousy to myself, I have every right to be jealous! I'm not jealous of Dean, per-se, but I am jealous he gets to be with Ginny! "Why are you doing this to me, Ginny?" I asked, letting out the breath I'd seemed to be holding in. Her arms were still around me, I placed my hands on hers, I didn't want to let go.
"Because I like you, Carmen." She stated, using the same tone I had just used but not mockingly. I remained silent for a moment. I had so many questions whirring in my head it clouded my thinking.
"I love you." I told her abruptly. I hadn't really meant to say that, it just slipped. I was beyond embarrassed, this is awful! Maybe she should be with Dean to spare me the embarrassment. Yes, that's good.
Maybe if I pretended like she wasn't there she'd go away, but I didn't want her to go away, I wanted her to say it back.
I let go of her and put my face in my hands, the embarrassment I felt in this very moment was inexplicable. Overwhelming. I've never felt this embarrassed since that one time where- well, never mind, it's embarrassing.
"I feel the same." I heard her say under her breath, I was beyond relieved to hear her say that. I could feel my eyes well up with tears but I blinked it away, it was so weird to acknowledge I like girls. I've repressed it for so long. I've always knew, but sexuality is fluent so what if I started to like boys one day? It was worth a try. Ginny and I laid in silence for another few minutes. "I told Dean I was just going to the loo, I'd better get going. Meet me at the astronomy tower at midnight tonight. See you then, Carmen."
She said softly before standing up and leaving. I was going to be watching the clock for the rest of the day, waiting for midnight. I hope this wasn't all some complex plan, that would really suck. I'd be embarrassed. No one embarrasses the Malfoys, we embarrass people. That was a joke, well, dad and Draco embarrass people purposely but that isn't the point. I was so excited to see Ginny later, I wondered what she had planned.