King & Kaiser

•Fifty•

**Kai POV**

I was in and out of sleep for the rest of the night. Considering Malcolm was my brother, he was the only one allowed to stay the night. He was sleeping on the couch or at least I thought he was. It just seemed like our dynamic shifted. Him knowing about me and King was supposed to be different. Everyone was supposed to be happy and go about life. But now Malcolm won't look me in the eye and it's like our vibe isn't the same.

"Malcolm?" I called out.

"Yes, Kaiser?" He answered.

Kaiser? Sir what the fuck?!

"Kaiser? You only call me Kaiser when your mad at me or being super serious?" I whined.

"Kai, I'm not mad." He sighed.

"You see? There's sumn wrong wit you and you just not saying it." 

"Kai, just drop it. Go to sleep." Malcolm tried to dismiss me.

"No I'm wide awake because there is something wrong and I don't know what it is! So tell me what it is?!" I demanded.

"When did I become the person you had to hide stuff from." He questioned.

There was a pause.

"Malcolm you realize besides my brother your like a parent to me. I value your opinion of me so much that sometimes I do shit and don't tell you because I know what your gonna say. I just didn't know how to approach you when it came to King even boys in general. King is just the first that actually got this far. I don't know Malcolm I think I hide stuff from you because you see through me. You see through all my bullshit, all my lies, and all my secrets. I look at you and it's like your the only one that holds me accountable." I explained.

"Ok so if you know I'mma tell you what's real then why you hide it? I'm tryna help you not make big mistakes like I did. Some of the shit you do could land you in a lot of different places. If nobody in this world wanna see you make it, I do! I made it my mission to keep you safe and make sure you get the opportunity to make it outta here without being somebody baby momma, pushing weight, or smoking that shit, I want you to have the life you deserve cause I know shit wasn't always sweet after Mom and Pop passed. I know you still hurt my nigga I'm still hurting too. But I'm not the bad guy!" 

I knew Malcolm was crying because his voice was cracking. I was starting to cry because Malcolm never showed emotion when it came to anything. He usually never cried in front of me. This is maybe the third time I've seen him cry in my whole life. Even when we were kids he usually never cried in front of me, he'd hide his face or run away. 

"Malcolm I didn't say you were a bad guy. I don't think your a bad guy." I tried my best to get out of the hospital bed and walk over to him.

"Nah man I put you here. You in this shit because of me. I don't know what it is but it's like I blackout, Kai. It don't make no sense. When I put two and two together bout you and King, I was furious. I was so mad I told myself the next time I saw King I was gon fuck him up. So boom he came over to the crib and you went to the coffee shop. Soon as you walked out the door, I was on his ass. I'm talking we fighting like random niggas off the street. He steady asking what the fuck what the fuck but whole time I'm quiet as kept not even telling the nigga why I'm doing the shit I'm doing. Then boom everything went black next thing I know I'm in the back of Junior's truck throwing up." He continued.

"Do you remember any blackouts before this one?" I questioned.

"No. It's like I snap and just do the most outlandish shit dawg. This time I hurt you and that shit ain't acceptable at all. That shit make me sick to my stomach." He shook his head wiping his eyes.

"Malcolm you remember that time when we were little and mom had lit a candle with some matches? It was a couple minutes after I had blamed you for some stupid shit and mom said you couldn't go to the dirt bike show anymore. You were so mad that when she went into the kitchen you picked up the matches, struck one, and threw it on my clothes. Do you remember that happening?" I asked him with tears in my eyes.

"What? Kai stop playing that shit ain't never happen. I'm being serious right now and you playing." He waved me off.

I turned on the light next to the bed and lifted up my shirt. On the other side right across my stomach from my gunshot wound was a faded burn mark.

His face froze and he looked haunted. 

"Malcolm I know you didn't mean to. This time or last time. Especially considering I jumped in front of King. But understand you need to learn to control this shit before you kill someone and I lose you. No matter what I'm gonna need you. These blackouts cannot happen anymore. Mom was there to stop you last time and King was there to stop you this time. But one day nobody gon be there and you gon have to take that charge." I spoke bluntly.

He stood up and walked over to me pulling me into a hug.

"I'm sorry, dawg. For everything I'm sorry." He apologized tightening the hug.

I just hugged him back. He let go and then went back to lay on the couch. 

"Let's get some sleep." I turned the light off and turned away from Malcolm.

After a while I heard his light snores but I was still laying there not able to go to sleep.