mania! ➺ tartaglia

sixteen.

You swallowed thickly as the pair of crimson red eyes bore into your e/c ones. He looked like he was waiting for an explanation, even though you knew he wasn't. Something told you that he understood why you had fled so quickly, when the only person who knew about this delusion of yours was Kaeya, along with whoever he had trusted to tell. 

"I left, and I'm sorry.. Due to my poor timing, we lost our friend," You began, watching him shake his head. 

"You don't have to apologize, Y/N. I am not angry, nor am I someone to hold a grudge. Our friend met his fate.. That was his.. choice." He muttered, looking as if saying those words to you had hurt him. Your chest tightened. 

You'd known Kazuha for quite some time, and through him, you came to know of another boy, more carefree, and bubbly than the gray haired man. He was someone that you had remembered growing up with, however, you'd been quick to forget all ties and leave him to face a perilous duel against the electro archon all by himself. 

You were supposed to stop him, but you had to go.

That day, you chose your own life, over saving his.. But so did Kazuha. 

"I could have stopped it and I didn't. I will forever hold that against myself.." You replied, your voice nearly breaking. You knew that Kazuha had been there to witness his blade fall to the ground, as you heard from around that he had snatched your friends dull vision and made a run for it. 

"You are too hard on yourself, Y/N. I assume you were running for your own matters, as I was." Your head shot up at these words. The slight glint in the samurais eyes revealed that he might have known something about you; something that he wasn't supposed to know. 

"I was.." You said, watching as Kazuha pulled out the masterless vision. Your lips pulled into a slight frown as you looked up from the pale orb, "Please keep that safe. It's what we have left." 

You wanted to stay and talk more to this old friend of yours, but you knew that you couldn't. You already had a limited amount of time, and you had to go and meet with the anticipating Harbinger. 

Kazuha understood. 

"Be safe, Y/N." 

"I will." 

That was the last time you'd seen him in a long time. Your trip to Snezhnaya, however, kept you busy from overthinking, or feeling guilty about the entire situation. 

Childe noticed this in the way you seemed to react to things you would normally react to differently, and more enthusiastically. 

He placed a hand on your thigh. 

"Are you alright?" He'd asked, watching as your face seemed to remain a little emotionless. The two of you were more or less close to the land of frost with every second that passed. You could tell as the temperature was starting to drop, and even in a nice carriage like the one you were riding in, the cold slipped in through the cracks with ease, leaving your body feeling numb.

"I'm fine, my head just hurts a bit. That's all." was what you had replied with, however, he didn't buy it for one second. Though Childe was one to pry on about something until you would give in, he didn't do that this time. Instead of bothering you, he scooted himself closer to where you were sitting and used his hand to lean the side of your head against his shoulder gently. 

"Get some rest please." His voice was softer than usual, but it was hard to not comply with him when the carriage basically rocked you to sleep. You were starting to feel more and more comfortable when you were around him. 

That wasn't good, but at the moment, you didn't show a single care. 

As your eyes drooped shut, you managed to mumble something about him waking you up if something were to happen, but it came out sounding incoherent, causing a chuckle out of the man next to you.