mania! ➺ tartaglia

♥

It's been a while since I've written to myself. The last time may have been.. ages ago.

It was definitely when I was trapped in one of my darkest times, which is why I can remember it all so vividly.

Though I had everybody around me, it ultimately felt like I had nobody. That space had consumed me, devoured me whole, and then let me go as if nothing had ever happened.

I'd changed, but I had changed for the better. I was one step closer to conquering the world on my own, and there wasn't any stopping me.

And then you came into my life. Came.. More like fought your way through. You're very stubborn, you know that?

But I guess that's what kept me coming back to you. It's why I was so drawn to you from the very beginning.

I've never met anybody quite like you, as cheesy as that sounds.

My last birthday had been surrounded by the battlefield, and other work related things. The year before that it was the same. And the year before that.. almost identical.

I was usually by myself, with a letter from my family and a cake that was terribly made due to my poor baking skills. It's not something I could call myself a master in.. but that alone was usually enough for me. I was grateful for what I had, and today, I still am grateful, especially for your presence in my life.

I'm in awe that this year will not be like the others, and not because of our departure to Snezhnaya, but because.. you're here with me.

You stayed, for some reason, and that feeling of being stuck in the darkness is slowly starting to drift away from me. I no longer feel like I'm all alone in this cruel world that we reside.

Now.. I have someone to fall back on.

I'm not sure if I even deserve you in my life, but whatever I did for that to have happened, I would do it a million more times just to have you in every life.

Thank you, Y/N.

Ajax.