Permission// Wilhelm

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That's it, I had permission from both sisters.
(One more than the other.)
"Mama, where is that photo of me and Vea and Mäja? Ya' know the one from the day they left."
"Why, dear?"
"I want to hang it up in my room. I have no photos of them."
"I'll go find it for ya." She kisses my forehead which is the most physical contact she'll give me. No hugs. Nothing longer than a second. Just quick shoulder pats and hair tussles.
"Oh! Mama, can you find a picture of Erik too. I want to have lots of photos in my room. To remind me of my dorm at Hillerska."
"Of course."

One message from Simon
Hey...

You still have my number?  -W

Of course. - S

Can I tell you something? -W

Go for it. -S

Ég sakna þín svo mikið. -W

What does that mean? -S

Look it up. -W

I had learned Icelandic phrases from my phone call with Mäja, and a few google searches.

ég sakna þín líka. When you left Hillerska, you said I love you before you left. Is it true?- S

Of course. Why didn't you say anything. -W

There were people all around, you shouldn't have even hugged me Wilhelm. -S

You said you didn't want to be anyone's secret. I was trying to make you public, us public. Simon I'm trying! I'm ruining my life for you and nothing is enough. You don't get it! -W

Get what Wille? -S

You don't have the whole world waiting for you to mess up. You can screw up and be who ever you want and nobody gives a f-ck. Im trying to get my sisters back and prove to the world Im not some coward. I'll go public about us, but you have to wait. Just a bit. You aren't my secret, or regret. Simon, don't you realize what you've done for me? Without you I wouldn't have been able to do any of this. You're fixing me.- W

I can't wait. I want to just hug you or hold your hand in public. I just want you. Not you behind closed blinds and locked doors. I don't want to have to barricade us just for us to be able to hug, Wille. -S

Don't give up on me. Not yet. Please, just a little more time. -W

I can't wait any longer. -S

Please, I need you. -W

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