Tw: depression, self-harm, suicide
This is a sequel from my previous chapters 'sometimes Your Brother Doesn't Feel Well' and especially to 'when we meet again'. If you don't feel like reading it, than please don't. If you want to talk about it, than just reached out ♥️.
I know my last posts were a bit soberder but they will be brighter and happier, it's just the request I get.
Lots of love and stay healthy.
Liam laid on his stomach as he watched Zayn coloring his walls. Normally Liam would say something about it, but he couldn't find the energy anymore. It had been half a year since Niall had passed away and he was having a hard time dealing with it. He was slowly killing himself inside out as he walked by Niall his room. He couldn't tell his parents because they were going through the same thing as he was.
Liam felt selfish but knew he couldn't keep up with it anymore. He didn't want to be here anymore. Don't get him wrong, he loved his parents and his other brother, but he missed Niall so much that the only thing he wanted was being close to his brother. He had thought it through, and he was certain about it. Suicide had crossed his mind a couple of times when Niall was still alive, but now it was on his mind 24/7. He wanted to quit all of it and wanted to close his brother back into his protective arms.
"Li hav-," Harry stormed inside his room, "Liam what's Zayn doing?" Harry said as he stopped by. Liam looked up to his father who was ready or go to work. "Don't know," Liam said with all the energy he had. Harry just shook his head and grabbed the pencils from Zayn. "Li there's something bothering you," Harry said as he sat down on his son's bed. He felt it sink and so did the tension. "I just wish Ni was here. That's all." Harry just pulled his son into a hug. "I understand bud," Harry sighed as he kept rubbing on his sons shoulder, "but try and make him proud yeah. He didn't want you to sit here and do nothing. He wanted you to live the life he couldn't."
Those words hit Liam like a truck and made his decision even more difficult than it was, but he stood ground. Tonight, when his dad was still in the ER and his papa was working at the bakery, he would be taking his life. Zayn would be asleep and by the time Louis would get home, Liam would've already bled out. He was going to do it fast and probably one of the more painfuller and longer ways, but it wss the most effective and didn't take that much preparation time.
"I'm heading to work boys," Harry said as he stood up, "your dad will be home within two hours. Liam would you like me to put Zayn to bed now, or do you do that within half a hour." Normally Liam wanted Harry to do it, but today he didn't mind putting his little brother to bed. "I'll bring him," Liam sighed as he stood up to play with Zayn, "as long as he doesn't color on my walls again."
Half an hour later, Liam picked Zayn up and brought him to his bed. Zayn constantly wanted to go to the toilet and walking around. Liam had put him back in bed too many times for Liam his liking. It just reminded him why he always let his papa put the 7 year old to his bed
"You really should be sleeping now," Liam tried again. Zayn was acting up and the clock wasn't Liam his best friend anymore. Their dad would be home within an hour and Liam wasn't planning to let his well thought plan fail because his little brother wouldn't go to sleep. "Story," Zayn pouted as Liam laid him down. Liam shook his head, "maybe tomorrow," he explained. Zayn nodded and snuggled into the covers.
Liam immediately made a headstart to the bathroom as he walked out of Zayn his room. He had to do it now and fast. He looked at himself in the mirror. Their dad's had put a small picture in the bottom of the mirror. Liam shot a look at it, it was a picture of the boys a few months before Niall died. They were eating ice-cream. Zayn had a smile from ear to ear and so did Niall and Liam.
Liam looked at himself in the picture and than looked towards the mirror. He had changed dramatically. Louis noticed too, damn he even had conversations with Liam. They wanted to enroll him by the psychologist, but the Healthcare system in England wasn't the best out there so Liam was held on a waiting list. Harry and Louis saw it coming even before Niall even passed away.
