From a butterfly to a butterfly, it was somehow hard to believe that two kids could be so love foolish. Falling in love at first sight, maybe love wasn't as dreamy as it seemed. After all, with the crap they've been through, the two ex-lovers will a...
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"THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR CHANGE, AND YOU'RE INFLUENCING IT."
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MAY 24, 2021 — 3:23 AM
Graduation. Merely hours away! I'd be seeing Yeonjun, seeing Yena get up on that stage and present her speech for the technology department, graduating at the top of her class happily. Hitting my cigarette against the ashtray, I sigh softly against the balcony railings. Even if I'm at the top of my architecture major, over my dead body would I present a speech. I won't put myself in that place.
I wonder what would happen if I fell five stories off this balcony. Would people see me? Would Yena notice, even when she's snoring like a cow? She barely knew that I was awake, snoring even louder. She could sleep through an earthquake. Back to my deathly topic, I don't feel like being in the same situation I was at that hospital five years ago. It wouldn't be worth the tears.
I don't feel like crying these days, even as I feel the freedom I wished for at the beginning of this year. Valentine's day felt empty, the only companion being my cigarette. On his birthday, I wondered what he was doing. Did he think about me the same way I thought about him? On my birthday, I was accompanied by a man who carried me through my youth, but I still owe him my life to this day. Now, we're at graduation.
It's like high school repeats again, instead this time, we're leaving out all the physical and mental pain it brought to me. I just feel... happier, maybe. Lighter with no hardships and arguments that'll ruin my life, so maybe that's why.
I still can't forget the people who got me here, though.
Huening Kai—that boy who goes to university with me, but I never saw a thought in his eye. He enjoyed the drama but didn't live for it. He gave me the warning to move along, to keep my eyes on the road I should've taken... but with that risk, came no reward. I should have listened, but maybe it wasn't too bad to admit it, either—the risk I took was fun.
Kang Taehyun—my best friend growing up. He was angry at me, an embodiment of the word anger, but stood calm and collected. I owe him the biggest apology, especially when he played wingman between my boyfriend and me. He, too, deserves an ending that he promises. Maybe at the reunion, he and Yena will rekindle—and both will be happy.
