Raindrops of Reality - [poetry]

Metamorphosis

The night cloaks the tears
while the wind begins to howl.
Unlike the other time,
I was unescorted.

For I wanted to disappear alone,
not a       (s o u n d).
My mind was running,
                                    screaming
                        shaking
                           collapsing in on itself
                  (a g a i n).

An unknown voice in my head
whose vocals fill me with dread
owner of a loathsome tone
!S C R E A M S! at me:
"You are not good enough,
you are not smart enough,
you are not enough".
What a pleasant eulogy!

My stray carcass is reduced to
a tinted window hiding thoughts.
The clouds block the moon;
the heavens begin to weep.

I wonder, where am I?
                 – in a blurred perception.

                  I approached the railing
        up and     ~ ~ ~       ~ ~ ~   to the
I walked   ~ ~    ~ ~ ~   ~ ~ ~     overpass.
.   .   .   .   .   .    .   .    .   .   .   .   .    .   .   .   .
I looked over and    took a deep breath.

"Should I hang in there for just one more day?"
A phrase that some people often ask themselves,
an instinctual utterance of hope.
What is the point?
I climbed the railing.
What did we do to deserve such a hollow existence?
They say "it gets better" but I've already been trying for so long and nothing's better.
Why continue to live a purposeless life?

Feeling raindrops rippling under my fingers,
I look at my shoes:
heels on concrete
toes on nothing.

The moonbeams wash through the hair.
Looking to the ground, I slowly whisper:
"I just don't want it to hurt anymore".
I pitch forward.
The wind blows around my body and my face.

After living in such a hurricane,
having control over my life,
flying like a bird,
gave me a sense of
freedom.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

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˚✽ add this book to your library if you enjoyed this poem ;)