Blue Eyes

37-Is she dead?

I was expecting a fancy dinner and conversation but he surprised me, i find myself in a go-kart place. This man brought me to go go-karting. I'm pleasantly surprised. We get our helmets and get into the karts, I pull up in front of the starting line, Ryder next to me in his kart. The horn goes off signalling to start. I step on the gas peddle and take the lead, Ryder hot on my back. I take the turns with ease but so does he, before I know it his right by my side with a wide grin on his face, i accelerate more and take the lead just as we get to the final lap, he accelerates and we battle for first position. We cross the finish line and turns out we tied.

"You are definitely something else Blue Eyes, but the night is still young." He says with a smirk

I look up into his eyes and they are shining with such happiness, it warms my heart, i feel my body warm up...almost like when Kodiak looked at me last night, what's going on.

"You're not to bad yourself Ryder. Where are you taking me now?" I ask

"A little secret location...the one i told you about. My secret place that no one else knows about." He says

We make our way out of the place and back into the car, the music is playing while we talk about random things ranging from the songs to why I am still single. We arrive at a forest...its late afternoon so the sky is a beautiful tone of pinks and oranges. I smile as we walk into the forest hand in hand, no one else is in sight so I guess he wasn't kidding when he said no one else knows about this place. We finally get to a open piece of land, trees surrounding us and I look up, there's a huge opening above us, a clear view of the sky, my breath is taken away. Its the most beautiful thing I've seen since my kids as babies.

I catch him looking at me from the corner of my eye, his looking at me with a longing look. Its different from the way he usually looks at me. I look at him and he holds my eye contact, never faltering.

"Welcome to my secret place. Ready for a picnic?" Asks Ryder as he lays down a blanket.

I didn't even notice he had that in his hand. We sit down on the blanket and he opens the basket he brought with, its filled with McDonalds, this man is doing everything perfectly...its kind of amazing how well he knows me in such a short period of time.

"This place is amazing. How did you find it?" I ask and his body tenses up a bit

"When i was in high school lets just say life was tough...so one night I went for a ride and ended up here, I honestly thought it was a cliff. I was going to jump, that was the plan but instead i took the wrong path and ended up here. I laid on the grass and looked at the stars all night...this place saved me from myself when no one else noticed the pain i was in." He says

My heart feels as if its calling out to his and is saying its okay, I reach out to him and take his hand in mine, he looks up at me and our eyes meet, their is such pain in his eyes and all of a sudden it makes sense, his masking it all with smiles...just like I do. So i open up and show him my pain.

"I tried to kill myself a few times." I say and I see his eyes express shock and sadness

"My first attempt was when I was just a kid, I was locked in the basement of my house and i found a piece of glass from the broken window. I slit my wrist but before i bled out my brother Nathan found me. The second time I was sold to some rich guy, he rapped me each night and I couldn't take it anymore so I tried to overdose but the maid found me and I was on life support for about 3 months.  The most recent time was when I tried to jump off the balcony in my office. I was about to jump when Klaus pulled me back well actually the most recent one was when I overdosed in my office, Klaus found me on the floor and rushed me to hospital." I said