Doncaster [Louis Tomlinson]

4: First Day

I don't really have much to say so um..enjoy...

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The first week of January had passed, and not once did I see or talk to Louis or anyone aside from my mother. I spent the rest of the holidays either locked up in my room, reading novels and scanning through my new textbooks, sketching, or going out to run some errands, like picking up groceries or dropping off garments at the dry cleaners. Each day was similar to the previous one, and I had found myself a routine; wake up and do all those other morning casualties, read for the rest of the morning, drop by the supermarket to pick up lunch items and spend the afternoon sketching the view outside my window. I had got the basic outline correct, but I still have some shading to complete. But now I assume I’ll have less time to work on it, as school starts tomorrow morning.

                Nervous is an understatement. The only person that could get me through the day is Louis. The thing is, I’m not exactly good at making friends with girls my age. That’s why I stuck with Avery, Jade and Leigh, because I had known them since reception and I didn’t have to go through that awkward first encounter with them. We would sit down and play with our dolls and that was it; we were friends.

                But teenage girls are another story.

                I take a sip of water from the clear glass, which is still cold even though the ice I put in has melted away. I stare out my window, but see nothing but black. I wonder how many other people are currently still awake at this hour, and why that might be. Insomnia? Partying? Too many thoughts running through their head? I think my case might be the latter.

                I notice my sketchbook perched on my bed side table and decide to flick through it. The very first page is a house. I remember drawing this one after watching an episode of some renovating show with my mother. Most of the sketches are of various inanimate objects, except for the second to last. It’s a picture of four people; Leigh, Jade, Avery and I. We all have our arms around each other and are smiling broadly. I miss them a lot. Maybe I should call them. No, it’s past midnight and I doubt they’re still awake.

                I flip over to the last page of my book, where my current drawing sits. I turn over again, even though I know that all that there is over the page is a blank one. And then another one. And another one. So many objects to be drawn, people to sketch and memories to capture.

                My mind wanders back to New Year’s Eve, when Louis and I discussed our talents. I remember singing in front of him, and how he told me I was good, and that I shouldn’t be hiding away my talent, I should be expressing it. I close my sketchbook with a nice thud and place it back in its original position before holding onto the window sill and staring out the pane of glass. I began to sing

                “If I don’t say this now, I will surely brake. As I’m leaving the o-“

                Something about my voice doesn’t sound right. I clear my throat properly and even do a few vocal warm up exercises. The only noise I can hear was originating from downstairs, where my mother is watching a late night T.V programme. She often stays up late and I have always wondered why. After the audience erupt into laughter I decide to give the song another shot.

                “If I don’t say this now, I will surely break. As I’m leaving, the one I want to take. Forgive the urgency, but hurry up and wait, my heart has started to, separate…”

                My phone suddenly rings. The caller ID says Jade. I’m pleased that she’s called, but surprised that she’s doing it at this hour. I bring the phone up to my ear.