"Pathetic... pathetic, pathetic, pathetic."
Xingqiu muttered to himself over and over. He was falling behind, he was failing. Everyday he came home to his family, to be compared to his oh so perfect brother. What'd he expect? His brother was so much better than him after all. Grades? Perfect. Facial features? Perfect. Chivalry skills? Perfect. Archons, everything about him was just perfect. Xingqiu was trying so hard, but no matter what he did , he was always multiple steps behind his brother.
It didn't matter to him if one person, Chongyun, believed in him. Everyone else saw him as a disgrace of the family. He just wasn't enough, he was never enough. Frustration coursed through his veins, slashing at everything he could with his blade. Xingqiu had been practicing for what? Four hours now? But of course, it probably wasn't enough anyway huh?
"Qiu, take a break." Chongyun entered into the training area, holding two popsicles for them to share.
"No it's not enough, I'm not enough." He coldly replied to his kind and understanding friend, continuing to practice.
"Xingqiu, you are enough. Enough for me and enough for-"
"Stop the bullshit!" His tone grew angry, not bothering to look at the other.
Chongyun sighed deeply, holding out a popsicle for the other to have. "C'mon, Xingqiu, take a break."
The popsicle smashed on the cement after Xingqiu furiously smacked it to the ground. "I have no time for breaks, Chongyun, nor do I have time to deal with you. I need to catch up. Everyday I fall down the steps further than I had previously, he just keeps improving! And he's not even trying at all, it's like he's rubbing his success right in my face! Now stop getting in my goddamn way and find someone else to bother."
Chongyun was taken aback from Xingqiu's hurtful words. But he understood, Xingqiu had priorities, and he just wasn't one of them. Chongyun knew how rough Xingqiu had it at home. How he was always being compared to his brother, and always being looked down upon just because of not having the same level of skill as the other. And it's not even like he was that far behind either. Xingqiu was a talented young man, his way of handling his sword was unmatched by many! But he was looked down upon anyway, all because his brother was better.
It didn't matter if Chongyun was hurt by Xingqiu's words, Xingqiu had it worse. That was more than enough of a reason to invalidate his own feelings right? Xingqiu came first, always.
Chongyun picked up the popsicle from the cement ground, leaving Xingqiu to practice. "Alright, just- take care of yourself okay? Be careful, I love you."
Xingqiu didn't hear the words that came from his best friend's mouth, for he had already blocked everything out except for his own negative thoughts and his harsh practice.
In the end, Xingqiu had tired himself out with his harsh words, giving up on living up to the expectations people around him set. Not only that, but he lost his only friend who ever thought he was perfect. Xingqiu had taken out his frustrations on Chongyun, and that was last last straw. Chongyun moved on to others, who treated him so much better than Xingqiu ever did. Nothing mattered to Xingqiu anymore, he lost everything, not that he had much to begin with. And he still wasn't even close to being as perfect as his brother, and he never will be. Not in his own eyes, nor anyone else's.
